Of Solar And Dark (2018)

19 [E]

Edward Kenning

One rung.

Now two.

Slowly, I am ascending the ladder that leads to the metal platform. As soon as the other three members of team Eta had left for lunch, I raced to the training room to get some hours in. The room was fortunately empty and clinging onto the rungs for dear life is where I currently am at.

The metal bites into my palms, the cool surface struggling to topple the warmth that floods my body from the fear of falling. My feet are inches from the ground but the fear is edging its way through my lungs, slowly folding along the area of my chest.

Another rung.

My breaths emerge as clouded gusts of anxiety as my fingers refuse to let go of the poles strapped along the two ends. Wondering why I even came here, I forced my fingers to remove their grip and lift them up to the rung above, swiftly grasping onto purchase.

My feet push themselves forward, gaining speed as the idea of crashing to the ground flashes in my mind.

I'm doing this for myself. And for Luke. Seeing how it feels like to make it all the way to the top and free fall like there is nothing stopping me. Inch by inch, my fingers and limbs start to gain momentum, each step urging me forward and as the distance between the top and I begin to close, I start to understand why Luke loved climbing up so much. The sensation of being away from everything along the cave floors, the reality of my responsibilities seem miles away. I don't have to think about what lies in wait, just the pattern of swinging my arms forward and my pace.

With my gaze level to the walls, I don't notice when my fingers slam against the rom of the metal plate. Glancing up at the sound emmited, I heave my entire body forward, swinging my legs onto the platform. The surface is cool against my skin and the contrast of temperature is tickling. Slowly, I stretch my body out, embracing the coolness and allowing myself to catch my breath.

Now I just need to fall.

The fear returnd to ignite my blood, the trough of worry slowly gaining height as it inches its way towards my lungs, forcing the air out of my mouth. The blast of pressure brings me back onto my feet as I shakily bring my arms into an eagle-like spread, trying to steady the tremors the stress triggers.

Fall.

The word is easy enough to summon to my head but all around me are tuings that contradict the vowel. It's a great fall to the ground and it almost laughs at me, mocks me for the way my legs hesitantly linger on the edge but threatening to violently shatter all the bones in my body if I take the leap.

I try to recall what Martha said during training but everytime her face floats into my mind, I see my father's face, next to hers. They're both full of scorn, of aggressive amusement.

So I think about Luke. The way his arms around me makes me feel, the way he desperately tries to tell me what I feel is infatuation or just a bunch of chemicals in my brain. The way his eyes are so dark, they're chasms that opens up to a whole new world of opportunity. A chance to fall and a chance to fly.

The way I'm safe in the space of our embrace.

Before I know it, there's nothing beneath my feet. All I am doing is plummeting towards the ground, listening to the call of gravity as it sucks the air from my lungs and jerks my body towards the floor. My heart thuds frantically in my chest, pumping the blood at a rapid rate but all I can think about is the way Luke's legs stretch out as he fell, the way he looked so comfortable as he dived towards the unforgiving floor.

The way he soared.

My shoes slam against the ground and the ram sends a seismic wave throughout my body, the vibration causing gasps of shock to tumble from my mouth. The world is spinning out of control as I soak in the enormity of what I have just done.

Falling has never felt so good.

As I compose myself, the door to the room is roughly jerked open as Martha stomps in, cladded in gear.

Frowning, I turn away from her an dprepare to leave the facilities but her eyes meet mine too late and I am stopped dead in my tracks.

"Edward-" She seems surprised to see me and colouring between the lines of the slant of her face is regret.

"I don't want to hear it." I interrupt, starting to make my way towards the exit. Just as I reach the door, Martha slides before me, obstructing my path.

"No. You need to listen to me and let me talk." She insists, almost tearful.

"I think that's a lot to request, especially since you were the one who betrayed me."

"Please, Edward." Her voice is a soft plea that begs for forgiveness and a genuine request for my time. Trying to ignore the way images of her and my father together begin to clutter my mind, I nod irritability.

"If you want to explain, let me ask the questions at least." I say snappily. Eyes rounding with shock, Martha jerks her head eagerly.

"When?" I questioned, feeling my body involuntarily slump against the wall. It feels like all the energy has been drained from my body.

"Before you got here. It was only when all the gossip about your brother and the operation started to spread did I make the connection." There's a sincerity in her tone, shaded with a yearning to please me. I have never seen this side of Martha before and the reflection of what used to be a dismissive Solar suddenly begging for forgiveness makes my skin crawl.

"How did the two of you know each other?"

A fraction of a second of silence where there's hesitance circling her eyes, destroying the previously framed potrait of earnestly on her features. She doesn't want to tell me but I have got her wrapped around my finger and she can't expect me to let her go without getting an answer.

"Martha," I lower my voice and it gains an undertone of need, "You have to tell me everything if you want me to forgive you."

Her eyes grow dark as she gazes at the floor unsteadily, evidently disturbed by the answer that she has to respond with.

"Are you two... together?" The word tastes bitter against my tongue and the idea is so repulsive, it summons bile up to my throat.

"What? No!" Martha cries, dismay muddling her features. Shocked by my suggestion, she presses her back against the wall, distributing her weight along the segments of yellow, painted by the twinkling lights, unevenly.

"Then tell me," I coax, starting to become breathless from the way she's withholding information from me. I need to know.

"Y- you aren't going to like this." Martha finally says indecisively, her eyes flickering along the stanzas of lemon along the floor that emblazons the lights' reflection.

"You need to tell me so that I can judge for myself."

Finally tearing her gaze away from the ground, Martha struggles to look at me straight in the eye.

"I'm his daughter, Edward. I'm your sister."

Word Count: 1258 Words

A/N: Did any of you saw that coming? :D Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!

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