Of Solar And Dark (2018)

4 [S]

Sebestian Knight

Sometimes, when things get difficult along the walls of home, I do the one thing I'm best at- I hide.

When I was five and forced to sit down and talk politics with my father and his men, I thought I gave a good presentation. Suited up in an attire that brought out my height and made the young lines of my face less prominent, I thought I had the discussion in the bag.

It was only when everyone else had left did my father slam the door shut and draw down the window blinds did I realise that I didn't do it. Do it in the sense of directing the discussion the way he wanted it to. Personally, I thought that I did a great job.

As soon as the soft footsteps and clear chatter of the Darks faltered, the taunts came. Sentence after sentence of scorn and soaked with disguist and hate. Disapproval and the inability to accept that I was his son, that I had screwed up his big talk.

To this day, I still recall the way the ball of tears was suspended in my chest, slowly rising and building a pressure in my airways. Choking the sobs back in case it would ignite a more violent flame and wishing that the floor would swallow me up whole and declare me unfit to sit through his speech.

Imagining becoming part of the surroundings and blending into the colours, my body turning into a gradient of grey that matched the floor.

Anything that wouldn't place me in that situation.

When my father was finally done, he marched out of the door and left me blinking back my tears, with the number of ceiling tiles slowly ringing through my head. Pretending that I wasn't looking up at the overhead light fixtures to chase away the tears.

That was the only time I fled to the lights for support. The only time I was able to illustrate the power of solar so distinctly, able to feel the strength in the way the lights hunted down the shadows on my skin, the way it filled me with wanting more warmth and so in awe of the trickle of the rays.

And I hated it. After that incident, I was sure to search for every nook and cranny in the house and ensure that none of them was equipped with solar powered light bulbs. And then I made sure that the areas that went unnoticed by my father became dusted over with age and dirt before declaring them hiding spots for whenever something like that happened again.

At age thirteen, I broke a house rule. I brought a girl back to the house and we had fun- holding hands, feeling nervous as our fingers danced back and fourth before hesitantly intertwining. Smiling and tilting our heads to the side, thinking that our emorions would become evitable to each other's eyes.
It was stupid but it was fun. I'm still able to recall her golden hair, a waterfall against her back and cascading down in a way that mesmerised me with every second the moon casted a glow on it.
The way her eyes were filled with temptation and drawing me in with every second that passed, filling my body with an energy that I haven't felt in years.

And I remember the door suddenly breaking open as my father stomped in and pulled her away from me, throwing strings of curses down at me as the distance between us grew wide.

A president's son should not have friends. A president's son should not have any weaknesses.

It's inane to think that in all of those moments, I loathed him and hated him. I begged for anything out of Atlanta, that floated in the axis of the Universe to kill him. Now that it's real, I think that maybe my role in even daring to have such thoughts back then have a play his death.

The wind that battles against the dying of darkness brushes against my cheeks as I stare out at the makeshift bridge which groans weakly, unable to withstand even the breeze, powered by a weak fetch.

"Sir Sebestian, you need to cross now!"

From the other side, it's almost as if nothing has happened. They're calling me sir as if the default abdication of the throne is not linked to what they hace just witnessed- their president tumbling down a gigantic hole in the crust of Atlanta.

Or maybe I'm the one going mad. Maybe none of this should matter to me. I have always been next in line and having the crown on my head this early should be something that I prepared for.

"I'm not crossing."

"Sir-"

"Enough!" The command doesn't sound like it's from me but as I feel the gaze of what must be a hundred Darks on me and the continous waves of sound subsiding, I realise that all those years of training and hard work must have instilled something in me.
The knowledge that I have the right to lead. The knowledge that I am strong enough to show the Darks who their king is.

This feeling. It's new, yet old. It's something that I have anticipated feeling but never experienced firsthand.

"I'm not crossing this bridge, not until I know that it is safe to cross."

"But, Sir- how are you going to rule Atlanta from the other side?" The question causes my body to go numb with the answer that instantly comes to my mind. The thought is almost able to paralyse me for a minute, I think about running. Running back to palace walls and hiding in the darkest corners, drawing my knees to my chest and wishing for all animation to halt right there.

Keeping my breaths trapped in my chest, hoping that my silence would be enough to send my father in the wrong direction.

But here, standing so naked in front of my subjects and feeling the weight of their fears on me, there's no way I can run.

There's no going back to the days when I was younger and could freely break a rule, to have another session of endless torment slotted into my schedule.

My face is slanted to the other side when I answer the question thrown out to me.

"It seems that I'll have to cross the area dominated by Solars to be your king." My words are empty of emotion and I can only hope that the shadows that slope across my cheeks is enough to hide the feelings churning across my features.

The world around me keeps spinning and moving but some things just never change.

Word Count: 1119 Words

A/N: Don't be afraid to tell me what you think! (: All reads, votes, comments and shares are appreciated!