Stuck in the Spotlight

Chapter 20: Holding Back

sorry this chapter is a little short, but the next chapter is the end! do you guys want an epilogue after chapter 21? let me know :) xx

Charlie's POV

The past few days have been amazing. I'm completely in love with my job. Sam and Logan have been staying at my place a lot lately, they've pretty much moved in, and there's more than enough space. I rolled out of bed and looked at the clock. 8:13. Not too bad.

The voice box buzzed and I answered, "Yeees?" I dragged out the 'e'.

"Miss Somers, you have guests."

"Send 'em up," I said. Logan was in his guest bedroom asleep and probably would be atleast another hour. Sam had to go to Chicago to visit her parents for the weekend. The elevator doors opened and Eleanor came bounding out, running over to me and attacking me with a hug. Louis joined in and I hugged them back.

"I've missed you so much!" Eleanor said in to my ear. They released me and I saw Harry leaning against the wall. He smiled and spread his arms wide. I ran over to him and he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I leaned in to kiss him, our lips colliding against each other, our tongues darting about inside each other's mouths.

"Alrighty then you little deprived of physical attraction love birds," Louis said and Eleanor laughed. I pulled away, "What the hell did you just say?" I laughed and turned back to Harry. He cupped my face with both hands, leaving me to keep myself up. I leaned my forehead against his and looked in to his eyes that I didn't realize until now how much I had missed.

"I've missed you so much, Char," he breathed, fresh, minty breath sending tingles down my spine. I leaned in to kiss him again.

"Um, oh.. erm... sorry," Logan stuttered. I pulled away and wiggled out of Harry's grasp, putting myself on the ground.

"Sorry, Logan, this is Eleanor, Louis, and Har--"

"What the fuck Charlie?" Harry yelled, his face bright red with anger.

"Whaa?--" I then realized how bad the situation looked. Logan walked out of the general direction of my bedroom in nothing but boxers and ruffled hair.

"It's really not what it looks like, Harry! Harry!" I yelled as he walked in to the elevator and the doors shut. Louis gave me a dirty look and Eleanor just stared at me.

"Really, it's not.." I trailed off looking at Logan for support. He quickly looked away.

"I'm going to go make sure Harry's alright," Louis said quickly disappearing in to the elevator. Eleanor grabbed my arm and pulled me toward my bedroom. I sat on the bed while Eleanor stood above me.

"What the hell, Charlie?"

"It's really not what it looks like, I swear." I whimpered.

"Then what is it?!"

"He's a friend from work! Sam normally stays here too! She just had to visit her parents in Chicago! I swear, he's just a friend," I whispered the last part, though I don't know why. "I can show you his room!" I said standing up and pulling Eleanor across the hall to his messy room.

"Harry's still going to be pissed you're living with him.." I sighed. To be honest, I haven't thought about Harry at all. Just a few times but that's it.

We walked back in to the living room where Logan was standing, looking more awkward than ever.

"I guess I should go home?" He questioned looking down. Him and Sam are my best friends, I would do anything for them, and it hurt me to nod my head, but I did.

A few moments later he walked out fully clothed and holding 2 bags filled with his things and he gave me one last glance before getting in to the elevator.

"You really care about him," Eleanor noted and I nodded. We had tried to be more than friends but it just didn't work. Sam knew about it, but no one else needed to, it wouldn't do any good for them to know.

"I can tell he cares about you too," I looked up at her, she opened her mouth to talk, then closed it, then opened it again, "Harry has been going insane without you, I told him to call you before we came but he wouldn't listen, he said you would like it better if we surprised you. He loves you so much," it looked like she wanted to say more but the elevator doors opened and Louis stepped out, walking over to us sitting on the couch. He engulfed me in a quick hug, and whispered in my ear, "Stay strong, Char. I love you," he was the only other person who knew about the cuts on my left arm other than Harry and Logan. I hugged him back tightly. We released each other and Eleanor gave me a long hug.

"Tell him I love him," She nodded against my head and squeezed me tight one last time. "I love you, El. You're my best friend," I said as the tears blurred my eyes. She let go of me and Louis wrapped his arm around her as she collapsed in to him. They stepped in to the elevator and waved to me and I waved back, smiling through the tears, "Tell him I love him more than he knows," Louis nodded and the door closed, but not quick enough for me to hear Eleanor's sobs.

My stomach clenched and I felt sick. I ran to the bathroom and pulled my hair back and puked in to the toilet until I felt like there was nothing left inside me. I wiped my eyes, smearing black across my cheeks. I grabbed my phone and slipped it into my pocket and left my apartment complex.

I opened the door to Logan's apartment complex and asked the man if he could buzz up to Logan. HE gave me a weird look and did so.

"You may go up, ma'am." I nodded a 'thanks' and took off to the elevator. The doors opened up to his apartment and he was waiting for me with open arms. I ran straight in to him and he wrapped his arms around me.

"You can cry," He whispered in to my ear. When he told me I could cry, I don't think he knew what he was in for. I sobbed hysterical, gut wrenching sobs. He guided me towards his couch and sat down, pulling me on to his lap. I turned in to him and let myself throw a pity party. He rocked me back and forth, stroking my hair trying to calm me down. But nothing could, I realized he was never coming back.

I sat crying in his arms for an hour before I made myself stop crying, I stood up and walked in to his bathroom. I was no where near out of tears to cry, but I had to stop. Crying for an hour is not healthy. I wiped the black tears away and splashed water on my face. I decided to take all the makeup off. Harry would say that my skin glowed even without makeup. I looked in the mirror, my skin was not glowing, not one bit. I walked out and fell back in to Logan's arms.

"Thank you," I whispered and he squeezed me closer to him. We watched TV the entire day, none of us moved, we just layed there and watched TV together. We ordered a pizza and had it delivered to us. I ate half of a slice and put it down.

"You have to eat at least one slice, Char," Logan said, reminding me of Harry. I picked at the crust and Logan gave me a look and I quickly finished it. I layed back down as did Logan and he wrapped his arms around me and I soon fell asleep.

"Charlie," a familiar voice called out.

"What do you want Caleb?" I called out exasperated. I couldn't see him, not this time, but I could hear his voice perfectly.

"He loves you so much, more than you know, don't let this go unnoticed," he warned. I wanted to ask who he was talking about but I was woken up.

"Sorry to wake you," Logan mumbled as he carried me toward his guest bedroom. He layed me down in the guest bed.

"I don't want to sleep alone toni--" Before I could finish he had me in his arms as he walked to his bedroom. He layed me down and climbed in beside me. I waited until he fell asleep before I started to cry. The bed shook gently but Logan was a somewhat heavy sleeper. Loosing Harry was like a punch in the stomach, a kick in the shins, and a bullet to the head.

Even if he believed what Eleanor told him, he wouldn't come back. And if he did I wouldn't let him. I wanted to let him come back to me, but I couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to him. He deserves so much better. I have to let Harry move on, I can't hold him back.

one more chapter then epilogue or no epilogue? i hope you guys like the ending :)