"Every Breath." Jaythan Fanfic ( COMPLETED)

"Every Breath." Jaythan Fanfic

Nathan's pov

That was it. I had to Tell Jay.

As the beating in my chest increased the butterflies in my stomach began to feel more like a lead weight. "Jay?" Jay looked round he had been sat on the sofa texting "What's up Mate?" I began to feel my breath catching in my throat and anything that I had eaten this morning begun to make it's way through my body in an upwards motion. "I need to tell you something." I managed to choke. He frowned obviously seeing some form of worry or Doubt plastered across my face, he patted the space beside him on the sofa and moved over slightly so I could have more room. I sighed heavily this was it, After almost 2 years of a raging war , my heart against my head I had decided to join one side, Although really it was a one sided battle anyway.

See For the past year and three quarters I had been trying to convince myself otherwise. But unfortunatley any futile attempts I was making were failing. After months of strong stares, heart aches, burning faces, shaky breaths and loss of direction  I had finally managed to admit to myself I was gay, And That i was in love with my best friend , Jay.

Jay's gentle, soft gaze met mine, His turquoise eyes that I had so many times dreamed of, sent a shiver of comfort through my body it was like someone had ripped the tension from inside of me and suddenly my body relaxed. "you Okay Nath? You look proper pale and your hands are shaking." he reached out and gently lifted one of my hands wrapping his soft fingers round the ridges of my knuckles. "Jay." I whispered he peered up in curiosity "Yes?" I sighed once more. "If I told you something big that could possibly affect us and the band and would probably change your perspective of me would you hate me?" he frowned "It depends on what it is if you've killed Tia or scratched my limited edition of Avatar or  something then yes I will hate you , but 99.9% of the time I know I will support you... You haven't murdered someone have you?!" i couldn't help but Chuckle. "No I haven't killed or injured or scratched anything or anyone. Look Jay how would you feel If I told you I was gay." Jay's face turned from humour to seriousness "Wow." he whispered, I felt the lead in my stomach gain weight even more so. I hadn't realised But I had been hanging my head almost in shame when Jay's hand rested on my shoulder , I shot up "Look Nath Gay or not I'll support you and still love you like the brother and best friend you are to me, I don't mind if you like guys." Fuck Jay! But I don't like 'GUYS' I like you.  I just nodded and I could feel tears welling in my eyes and my lip began to tremble "Aww Nath don't cry!" Jay went to embrace me in a hug but I whipped away. "That's not it there's more." Jay once again had that curious look ravish his expression. "I'm not Gay in general Like I don't just see Guys and go 'they're gorgeous!' It's just one person and that person is you Jay." And with that the room fell silent , There all the weight jumped off my shoulders.

Jay stood up "I'm sorry." I whispered But Jay didn't utter a word he just left the room and paced upstairs. That's when I felt it all rise in my throat, i threw myself off the sofa and out of the room , My converse squeaked  as I ran across the tiles of the kitchen and raced into the bathroom. As i dived for the toilet everything came up and I begun to vomit into the toilet. salty tears left my eyes and my nose ran. See the thing Is those tears weren't just because of the horrible dry retching and the vile taste in my mouth they were also the combination of pain and sadness, jay was disgusted in me..../