Lost And Found (CURRENTLY EDITING)

{41} Firsts

December 24th 2021

P.o.V Scott

Alli and me had Malia and Theo over for Christmas. The two of them had stayed together, much to everyone's surprise, after Stiles' out-of-the-blue confession. Theo, Alli and the kids were grocery shopping, Malia and me were alone at home and just sitting in comfortable silence.
"Y'all are surprised that I'm still with Theo. Admit it, Scotty.", Malia broke the silence all of sudden.
"Honestly, no, I'm not. You love him and you are pregnant with his child. It doesn't surprise me. I'm just a little surprised that you didn't choose Stiles."
"That's the same, McCall."
"'McCall' isn't my last name. It hasn't been for the past four years."
"For me you'll always be Scott McCall who cries over Kira and not Scott Argent who fucked his best friend at age 16 and got her pregnant."
"Not my best move, I know, but I'd have never gotten past 16 if Alli hadn't come back."
"Do you still think about her?"
"Kira? Yes. Every day. She will always be my first girlfriend and the first love I've lost."
"I think about her too. She was my best friend. Allison didn't only save your life, you know? She saved mine as well."
"I know. I don't even want to know how a life without Stiles would be."
"You could ask me."
"Because you lost your best friend?"
"No. Because I know what a life without Stiles Stilinski feels like."
Suddenly something clicked in my head when Malia smiled sadly.
"Wait...you still love him."
"I don't know if I still love him. There's just something about this boy, that I can't let go. Even after eight years."
"Do you even remember everything about your relationship? It started eleven years ago, after all."
"Not everything, no. But all the firsts."
"Do you want to talk about it? I know it's pretty private, but, Lia, I'm always there for you."
"I know. You remember the summer after Kira died?"
"You mean, when we helped each other through the grief and the pain so much that I saw you more than Stiles did and he got jealous?"
"Yeah."
We laughed. The summer of 2012 was easily the worst I've ever had. It had almost ended in suicide for me but these memories of Malia and me holding each other and crying together over the loss of a person we almost loved equally were good ones. Sad, but good. And Stiles' jealousy had been hilarious. As if I would steal his girlfriend from him...
"I want to talk about it."
"I'm listening."
"I remember the first time we talked. You and me became friends long before Allison left and Stiles didn't like me at first because he felt like I was stealing you from him so the first time he ever talked to me, he told me to fuck off. I have no idea why a six year old boy should know such terms but Stiles knew and used them since he was very young. He got detention after it because he refused to apologize to me. A few months later he must have realised me not being as bad as he had initially thought. He apologized and asked me to join you guys in the sandbox. That was the first time the three of us hang out together."
"I remember."
"The first time we hugged was Allison's last day at school and also the one year anniversary of his Mom's death. He tried to hide that he was crying but I saw and failed miserably with my attempt to calm him so I just hugged him. After that it became a normal gesture between us. Whenever one of us needed support we would hug each other. It never changed until I broke up with him."
She took a deep breath.
"I remember the first time he told me that I look beautiful. The night before that had been a full moon. I don't remember what happened that night but Derek said I lost control. The next day I woke up in the middle of the forest and was freezing and covered in blood. I knew it wasn't mine. I had attacked my Mom's best friend and killed him. After that my eyes changed to blue. Stiles and his Dad found me in the forest and took me home so I could get warm and wash the blood off of me. I had told him what I was years before that so of course he was the one I would turn to. We were sitting in his room and I showed him my eyes. He told me that I still looked beautiful and blushed like crazy when he realised what he just had said. Needless to say, I blushed too. It was also the day I realised that I'm in love with Stiles Stilinski."
"Hold on a second. How old were we at that time?"
"Thirteen."
"So it was shortly before you guys got together, right?"
"Yes. One week to be exact."
"Woah."
"I don't remember what happened in that week but at the end of it I stood in front of his door and said I loved him. Then I just ran away."
My eyes shot open widely.
"Just like -"
"- he did two months ago. I know."
She sighed.
"He came after me and told me to never run away like that again and I told him that I'd never leave without him. He was surprised to say the least but then he hugged me and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I said yes. Then I really went home."
"So that's where your most important promise came from."
"Yes."
I put my hand gently on top of her's. Telling me all this wasn't easy for her.
"The first time we held hands was our first day of Freshman year. We went into the building and he took my hand. It was also the day we told you and Kira."
"How long were you together before you told us?"
"About a month. We wanted to test how it went before telling anyone."
"I understand."
"Good."
She got up and took a sip of her water before continuing.
"Our first kiss was on my 14th birthday. It was just a little awkward peck but a week later we had already figured out how kissing worked and once we had mastered that, we didn't even think about stopping."
"I remember the first kisses with Kira. When we had finally mastered that 'challenge' we were already together for like three years but we were just too young, I guess."
Malia laughed. It felt good to talk about that to her. No one understood me like she did concerning Kira.
"I also remember the first time he touched me. It hurt so bad for the rest of the evening and the whole next day. He wouldn't touch me for days. He was so so sorry. But a few days later we had a sleepover at Kira's. Stiles and I tried sleeping on the ground but it was uncomfortable as fuck so we moved to her living room and wanted to sleep on the couch. In the end we did anything but sleep until like 6 am. He touched me again but that time, it didn't hurt at all. I thought I was about to lose my virginity on my best friend's couch. But well, he just wanted to tease me, so he stopped."
"Teasing was your thing, right?"
"His thing. Not mine. I hated him so much sometimes but when I told him he would always say 'not even a little bit, you love me'."
"He was right though."
"Of course he was. I loved him more than my own life."
"You still do?"
"No. I love -", she pointed at her belly, "- this more than my own life. But I love him as well."
"Do you want to go on?"
"Yes. I really don't care if you want to know the stuff I'm going to tell you now, so, deal with it, alright, McCall?"
"Alright, Hale."
She smirked.
"He was more experienced than me. I had never even touched myself that way."
"When you admitted that, I couldn't even believe it."
"It was true. Well, he wanted to make me have my first orgasm since, like, the end of freshman year, but I always said no. The first one I've ever had...it was caused by him."
"You are right, I really don't wanna know all that."
Malia laughed loudly.
"Well, I said, deal with it."
"Okay okay...geez! Go on."
"I don't think he really wanted to have that result back then. He was doing everything through my jeans and it felt really good. I felt like, I needed more and more. Suddenly I felt a knot or something in my stomach that faded seconds later. After that, he teased me and I just got out, pretty whiny by the way, 'I need a break'. At first he just thought, I had been extremely close but, well, he had actually pushed me over the edge without even planning it. One day later he did that again but that time without fabric between his fingers and...me and I came twice only seconds apart. I wasn't able to walk for about an hour because I was just to weak."
"Oh god, I know way too much detail now..."
"You wanted to know."
"I know, I know and I promised you to deal with it. I might see my best friend in a new light though."
I was happy that I was able to make her smile with my comments on her tragic love story.
"Our first time was about two months after that and it was a pretty good first time, I guess. But then he started to use his fingers on or rather in me at school. You and Alli saw, right?"
"Yeah. It was her first day back. You guys made a very good first impression on her."
Mal just overheard my last sentence and went on.
"Our first fight was about Theo when he arrived but the fight just ended in lots of sex. We never fought again after because we didn't even talk to each other until I had enough and ended it."
"Are there more firsts?"
"Yes. One. Our first dance. On your wedding. That was the last first I had with him."
"Oh, Malia..."
She was crying.
"I miss him."
"What are you going to do?"
"I still don't know to be honest. I'm carrying Theo's child and I love Theo but Stiles..."
"Is like a complete different world?"
"Yes."
"Do you still want him?"