I hate my Brain and Myself ( i think )

4 2 5

by Fadedrose13

by Fadedrose13

Have music.... or not idc lol

Since I went to Rockford I have a shit ton of
testing... THEY TEST TOO EARLY
I mean I think 8th graders are supposed to test in science??? Confusion?? Anyway they test in this thing call " MAP" and it's the "NWEA".
WHY DO THEY TEST IN EVERY SHIT, I understand math and reading
But...
ON ENGLISH??? Like WHAT???

IT TOOK ME ABOUT 4 DAYS TO FINISH TESTING!!!! my brain was damaged, my eyes were tired, and my body was shutting down. I found out I went up on my reading score to a 232 and my math a 240, ugh. Ok for the English test I was so confused on why and what I'm reading lol, it was hell for about 52 questions and apparently I scored above an 11th grader which is 224. Science I honestly don't care because I scored a 214, I'm not sure if I'm at level or above.

Any who, I told my mom my scores and so I hate myself for telling her. It was late September, my mom told me

" on December 1st, you are testing to an advanced school "( she said the name of the school but I forgot it XD)

My insides were screaming!!!

In Rockford they chose you're high school unless you're smart or whatever. Originally I was suppose to go to Auburn, but thanks to my mom she put me for testing in an advanced school. I know 100% I won't get in so my back up plan is to got to Auburn Btw My girlfriend will go to that high school and I'm scared I won't go to auburn. I haven't told her at all which I don't know when to tell her!!! So apparently the scores think I'm smart and so do my classmates, but I'm not smart.

I'm not smart... I just try and I don't know what's so hard to try!

I HATE MYSELF I THINK!!
Hehehehe idk what's wrong with me!!
Ok I say this because being a human is difficult!! Why do we pay for things? Why do we need a brain to get money ? And why are we like this???

I hate myself because my brain and I'm a horrible person, but I'm trying to not hate myself at the same time.

I'm screaming lol and I'm laughing this off because sick of sad crap ha!!

But I guess I'll be ok and I can smile

I hope it will be ok...