Designs of Love (TP2)

11 - Jen

She wasn't sure how long it took for the sensation on her arm to dissipate. He grabbed it rather tightly to keep her from falling, but what she felt came after. For three seconds, he kept contact with her to steady her and that's when she felt a faint tingling. It wasn't blatant, but was enough to cause concern ─ concern she reacted at all and worse of all with him.

She didn't know what to do? She should return home, but was content to hide out. Home meant facing what she'd been avoiding for almost two weeks now. Her avoidance ended on Thursday when the one thing she'd never expect happened.

She woke to a text from Sterling, Arriving at 9:30 am Portland. Pick me up! She read it three times to let it sink in. Then she spent ten minutes vacillating about what to wear. Part of her wanted to wear jeans, but it would just fuel his opinion of Maine. She dressed in clothes she would wear to work in the city. She had to hurry, because he didn't give her much warning.

She would be late and texted him, On my way. When she arrived, he was standing on the curb. He didn't wear a suit, instead he wore a casual sweater. It was how he would dress to eat at a neighborhood place on the weekend. She referred to it as casual Sterling. He had no intention of working. She pulled up, and he climbed in.

"Hello, darling. I've missed you."

"Sterling. I don't believe it. Thee Sterling Dixon is in the state of Maine."

"Don't tease, Jennifer."

"I'm not. Where do you want to go?"

"We need some privacy."

"The car is private."

She wasn't sure where to go. Definitely not The Point. She jumped on the connector and got off in South Portland. She considered going to the iconic Portland Head Light, but decided on Higgins Beach instead.

As they were driving towards the beach, he said, "Is this it? Is this where you lived?"

"No, this is a different beach. I don't know anyone here."

Parking, she said, "Come on. It's not that cold." She sat on the seawall. He sat next to her. The ocean was relatively calm, too bad her insides weren't.

His parents were not happy he married her. They had ideals that Jen didn't fit. The day he told them, he brooded.

"Are you sorry?"

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry that you married me?"

"I'm sorry that I can't live my life the way I want to. Why is what they want for me more important than what I want?"

She realized that he didn't directly answer her question, but in his reply, she interpreted that she was part of what he wanted. He had molded her into who he wanted her to be.

He said he was sorry. She replied, "Every time you say that I wonder what specifically you're sorry for."

"For hurting you."

"Okay, but when did you start hurting me?"

"When? When you came home."

"You're telling me it started that night because I've been thinking a lot. I think since summer, if not before. I remember that day on the beach and to think I was jealous of Lexi! What a fool I was. You would come to me on Thursday nights in The Hamptons and give me what I wanted, out of guilt. Am I wrong?"

She had been facing the water, but she turned towards him. As she waited for him to reply, she saw the familiar truck drive past. She watched it turn up the next street and park in the driveway of a beautiful home, with a widow's walk on top. She turned her attention back to Sterling, as he looked down and it told her what she needed to know. "Why did you marry me?"