The Hunter's Princess

Chapter 22

Serah tried to force the pain away. She tried to drive it from her as Xander had: with endless physical exercise. When that hadn't worked, she had attempted to discuss the issue with Flynn, then her father, and in some desperation, her aunt and uncle.

Nothing seemed to be able to lift the shame from her shoulders.

Serah rolled over in the darkened bed and looked at Xander. He was asleep, relaxed enough to share her bed once again.

She needed to forget for a moment.

The girl cautiously shifted forwards, pressing a kiss to the hunter's lips. Serah ran her fingers down his chest. Xander barely stirred until she had begun to slip down his trousers.

His hands shot to catch hers, sharply pulling them away from his length.

He furiously blinked the sleep from his eyes and slowly released his grip on her.

"What were you doing?" Xander asked. He rubbed his eyes. Serah choked on a sob and buried her face into his neck. A confused Xander put his arms around her. "Serah?"

"I need you," she whimpered. "Please..."

The hunter's eyes narrowed before he took her face in his hands. She looked at him through desperate tears. He pressed his lips together as she placed her hands to his chest.

"I need everything to go away for a few goddamn minutes," Serah choked out. "I need you to make things okay again."

Xander sighed and pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair comfortingly.

"I won't make love to you, not now. Not when you're still grieving," he murmured. She sobbed and shook her head. "This isn't healthy, Serah."

"Please..."

"What happened was not your fault. I understand that you're in pain, but-"

She pulled back from him and threw herself back beneath the sheets. Serah pressed her eyes closed, holding herself tightly. She couldn't bring herself to brush his hand away when it came to rest apon her arm. The girl looked over her shoulder to see his concerned gaze.

"Talk to me," Xander whispered.

"Why aren't you angry?" Serah asked. She sat up and crossed her arms.

"Why would I be angry?"

"I failed. Doesn't that bother you?"

The words brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes.

"Failed? Serah, you didn't-"

"I did! I lost the baby, Xander. Your child," she sobbed. He put his arm around her as she began to cry too hard for her to speak. He murmured comforting words into her hair, rubbing her back. "What if I can't have children?"

He rested his head on hers.

"We could always adopt. Or we could just be us two, perfectly alright being a childless couple," Xander reassured her. "We don't need a baby to be happy together, Serah."

"But you looked so happy when... when I first told you," she sniffled. He nuzzled her cheek and hugged her tightly.

"I was, but I won't mind if we never have any children of our own."

Serah pressed into him.

"You collapsed. It wasn't your fault," Xander murmured. "If anything, it was mine. I shouldn't have caused you so much stress."

She shook her head and just kissed him.

"You idiot," Serah murmured.

Xander nudged her and smiled warmly.