Lifes Fate

12

As usual. Im the first awake. And considering they were up most of the night worrying about me. I suppose theyll be out for a while. All of them lying shirtless.
I sit outside the cave and look to the sky. The storm truly gone and the skies just so bright. Anyone would think it was summer.
Hearing their stories last night... stories I wasnt meant to hear has opened my eyes. I never knew Pip thought like that. I didnt keep him alive. I kept him rooted. Harjo... well I knew he was protective over me. But I didnt know was threatened so young because of me... I suppose it makes sense. Lycons naturally stay away fron other creatures. They wouldnt have liked him protecting a little girl. He could have just left. He never wanted to be in charge. But because of me everyone was to scared to challenge him. And Justin well I didnt even know he'd been to my castle until Ive met him. I dont remember the dinner.  Toby always tried to make me laugh when I was upset. But it was rare in front of people.
It doesnt matter... the past is the past. Trying to remember or regret would be pointless.
We need food. They must have spent hours looking for me yesterday and they havent eaten.
"Trisha?" I look back at the cave and Justin flinching at the light "are you alright?" His voice groggy and something... something else. Something about it just sounds good "listen... I'm sorry for everything... a!I've been... I've not been very understanding of you and I'm sorry. I should have thought better"
"You didnt know"
"I knew enough... and when you went missing... everything just... it hit me how much this all affects you"
"I dont normally act so... so stupidly. I havent ran off like that. Im sorry for that. And I'm sorry for worrying you all i should have told someone"
He gulps and looks to the floor "I was worried... then we found you and I was terrified... I didnt even think you was alive. If it wasnt for Pip... I wouldnt had an idea how to have helped you"
"You shouldn't have worried" he sits beside me on the rock "I'm not really your priority"
"Maybe not... doesnt mean I cant worry about you?"
But why would he. Maybe Pip was right. Maybe I expected so little of them that I've refused to try get know them "you've shown me a lot of genorosity since I've come here. I wasnt expecting that from you. So thank you"
He laughs "It's alright. Pip had warned me that you'd refuse any help from me and my father. And I understand that"
... "you have a nice laugh. You should smile more often"
He looks down to me again "if I can be honest with you. I've not had to much to smile at for a long time"
"Well, I wouldn't let your fiance hear that. Shes already grown a disliking to me"
He sighs "she wasn't always like that... she was actually kind once. Then she heard you'd 'died' she become... quite stuck up. Rude. But she had my father wrapped around her finger. And my father announced our engagement"
"He announced it? What do you mean?"
"I told you... I dont get what I want"
"The fun of being a royal"
He nods "yeah... but its taught me one thing"
"Whats that?"
"I would never put my children through it"
Hmm. Children... "I dont see me having any to put through it... I'm not exactly mothering... but if I dont... then I will see to it that your little girls or boys will get Tisban. Im sure youll raise them finely... just... you know, let them run around naked every once in a while so their used to my people walking around with no clothes on"
He laughs. Like really laughs and it actually makes me smile "I will make sure they swin in the lake naked every once in a while"
"Good... I'm not sure Catelyn will like it. But you know..."
"You know her names Cathrine"
"Is it? Sorry... do want to know something?"
"About?"
"Me"
"Yes"
"I was terrified of you" he looks at me serious again "I was terrified of you finding me and... now I'm not quite sure why"
"Thats why you stayed in the forrest so long?" I only nod "the threat... it wasn't my idea"
"I know... but, you was the one that I was meant to be forced to marry. I always liked books. And I read of love stories and romances... and I just thought. How can I have my happy ever after if I had no say in the story"
"You would have had a say. I'd have made sure of it"
"How? Like you said, we dont get what we want"
"We wouldn't have met on our wedding day Trisha... I'd have made sure youd got to know me long before that. And if it come to it and you still didnt want me... I wouldn t have forced you too"
"But your father would... so would mine"
He laughs "then... we could have... run away and lived in the forrest... and run around naked together"
I want to laugh "you wouldnt have run around naked. You blush to much"
"I think I could surprise you"
The thing is. Im sure he could "I'm sorry I didnt give you a chance"
He shrugs "I'm sorry you didnt get the chance"
Right! This is getting to heart to heart "I'm going to go find something to eat... you go get some more sleep"
"I could come with you"
"No... I want to be alone"
He stares at me "ok... yeah... be safe"
I jump down from the rock and dont look back at him. I know hes watching me. But I cant bring myself to look back. I shouldnt be feeling guilty that I stayed hidden!

I stand in the woods listening around and its too quiet. The animals are nervous. And I've been doing this long enough to know its not me whos caused it...
"Whos out here?" Shapes start moving and I watch them come towards me... elven people... what are they doing out here? "Who are you all?"
"We are your army" a young women says. Looking me over "your everything we was told"
"Diatro told you of me?"
She chuckles "no"
"Hello Patrisha"... I feel the hairs on my skin go up. My skin turning cool... I cant turn around! "You've not changed"
I need to see him... I need to know I'm not going crazy!
I turn my head and there he is. Stood there with that small smile on his face "Matiloni... Matiloni!" I run at him, jumping into his arms "your alive! You're alive"
He holds me tight "god I've missed you!"
I lean back and look him over "I was told you was dead"
He nods and strokes my hair back "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Patrisha"