A collection of one shots

I don't know you anymore

It didn't take long to understand your patterns. Your ups, your downs, your everything in-betweens. I saw your calm side and just as easily saw your angry side (though never directed towards me.) One day I told you that if you fuck this up, someday, somewhere, you'll think of me and how i would have loved you in such a way that's sweeter than honey and warmer than those summer nights. That you'll regret hurting me and you'll miss the warmth of my smile. You got defensive and assured me that's not what you'd do. I wonder if you miss me yet. 

Modern society got the best of us, with the world at our fingertips we were bound to see things we never wanted to. I begged you to be proud of me, you begged me to stop complaining. I guess I should've seen that as a red flag. After all, I've been there before with past loves. But it's easy to mistake flag colors when everything around you is rose-tinted. I wonder if you saw any red flags surrounding me.

You never asked to read my writing. Not once. I wonder what you'd say about this piece. Probably "That's gay" while shoving my laptop away from you the second the writing got to close for comfort. You were always afraid to feel something real. But you never understood that the pain, heartache, embarrassment, and frustration are all necessary to learn and to grow. I wonder if you'll ever grow. 

It's an unforgettable feeling when someone loses interest of falls out of love with you. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. But you can't deny the distance in between when the morning hours went from "Just ten more minutes, I just want to hold you" to shrugging me off of your shoulder so you can lay alone, untouched, and comfortable. I wonder if my bed will still be as comfortable as those silk covered Sundays, wrapped up in your arms, when you're really gone.

I wonder if you care that i'm hurting.

I wonder if you ever cared at all.