A collection of one shots

I can't handle seeing you in pain

She kept crying. I didn't know what to do to help her. All I could think of was to hold her in my arms and tell her to go back to sleep. I didn't want her to hurt anymore. I held her and rocked her back and forth. "It's going to be alright" I kept telling her. "It's going to be alright." 

She gasped for air and my heart broke. I couldn't handle seeing her in pain, and I still can't. My stomach turned and I held her closer. "It's going to be alright." She shook her head and insisted it wouldn't be, and that it would never be. I couldn't take that for an answer. I couldn't take watching her in this pain. I had to help her out of it. She moved her arm and I saw the faint line of old scars. I couldn't bear to think of her doing that to herself. 

She pushed me away and stood up. Her hands ran through her hair as she walked in circles trying to breathe. "It's never going to be okay for me." She kept saying. I looked at her and wanted to cry myself. I saw her pain in the art of cuts covering her thighs. She's never slept with pants, and I've seen the cuts every time. This time was different though. This time I couldn't bear it. 

I stood up and walked to her. "Come on. It's going to be okay," I said, "It will be okay." She shook her head and closed her eyes. Her hands were trembling. I reached out, "Just, come on, lay down. Get some rest. It'll be better in the morning. Please." She continued shaking her head. How could I just sit here and watch her cry? I couldn't handle her in pain. I wanted to take all of it. She shouldn't have to bear it on her own. I reached out to touch her, to wrap her in a hug. She pushed my hand away. 

"Don't touch me." she said. I agreed. It was hard. All I wanted was to hold her and make her feel better. I should have known though, she doesn't like being touched when she's upset. She can hold it together unless someone touches her. 

I couldn't do anything but sit there and watch her. I couldn't help. I couldn't make her feel better. 

That is what pain feels like.