A collection of one shots

Let Me Save You

You look away and tell me your fine in a tone that sounds more annoyed than convincing. Yet I can't help but not believe it because you see I've spent too many nights pulling razors from my friends arms while that morning they said they were simply tired. I find it hard to believe that when you say you're tired you really mean sleepy because I've spent years telling people the circles under my eyes are just from being too 'tired' when really I slept as much as any other.

I wanted you to spill your heart out to me but the truth is there's a lock on you that won't let you let me be there. It's hard because I feel like you know every little bruise and scar on my body along with the story behind it but constantly, I see yours and you tell me it's nothing. I just want to be there for you. I want you to trust me in the way that I trust you. I know it's hard for you to open up about your problems this way and I know you don't want to so I won't make you.

You see, I've seen too many texts messages from friends who say they're 'fine' or even 'good' while crying. I've sent too many text messages saying I was 'fine' while crying. I can't trust other people saying it because I know I can't even trust myself to say it. I want to become more honest. I look at you and smile saying I promise not to lie about it anymore and I hope that inside you make the same promise. The only problem is I don't even know if you are having problems. I don't even know if you are struggling or if you're sad. I don't know if this is all in my head or if there's a part of you that needs lead out of the dark. And it just proves how you keep me in the dark with the fact that I don't even know. I should know. I want to know. I want to be there. I want to be someone you trust more than anyone. I want to be better for you than anyone else has. I love you so much. Can't you see that?