Highschool Days

Chapter 4

Wade POV

The first thing that happened was a blur.
I was knocked straight into the wall and I huffed when I felt my own katana stab my abdomen. "Well shit," I hissed in pain before it thankfully went numb and began to instantly heal.]

I looked over to the "FBI" only to see--

"WHO DA FUCK ARE YOU?!" I cried out in absolute confusion. An alien looking creature looked at me, his head twitching as he held a bow staff.

"I am--" As he made clinking noises, I stood up and yanked my katana out. "You sound like a Clicker," I stated.

The alien looked taken back. "Wait...what?"
"I'ma call you Clicker!" I clapped my hands together with joy.

Clicker stomped his bow staff on the ground in anger. "No my name is--" "Can we get this over with? My hot pocket is about to finish," I grumbled, launching myself at Clicker. He easily dodged me.

"You are going to come with me, Wade Wilson."

I whipped out my guns and began to shoot at the Clicker and he bounced out of the window to avoid my hits. "As you know my name?! Do you wanna autograph?!" I asked, getting a lucky slice at his foot.

"I don't have time for this," Clicker grumbled, his twitchy fingers around his staff and pointing it at me, a random motherfucking lightening bolt threw me back, this time, I caught myself, shoving my katanas into the ground to hold me down. "WHAT THE FUCK, RICHARD--I MEAN CLICKER!"

The alien, cough cough, Clicker, threw his slimy head back, his squinted eyes staring at me with a disgust. "You are really testing my patience."

"Eh fuck you too," I said sweetly hopping onto a different roof, Clicker obviously following me.

"What's your story? Like, what's your background?" I asked curiously as we continued to battle, me flipping over at him and stabbing him in his back. Clicker cleared his throat. 

"I, visited this planet, in hopes of finding--"

"So do you have any friends? Runners, Stalkers, other Clickers," I snapped my fingers once again with wide eyes. "Can you turn into a Bloater?!"

Clicker scowled at me, clicking at me with annoyance. "You are the only one who can withstand me, Wade--" "Deadpool," I corrected. Clicker clicked once again. "You're just like me, Wade. I want to know why."

I waved my hands in disbelief. "Look. I'm ugly, and you look like a reject from The Last of Us, but that doesn't mean we need to be together," I explained. Clicker growled. "You humans and your dumb relationships. That's not why I'm here."

"I'm a lab rat, 'nough said," I said casually.
Clicker once again swung his staff at me and pinned me to the brick wall behind me. (You know when Thanos pinned Bruce into that rock wall. Yeah, like that)

Clicker grew closer and studied my masked face closer, spitting as he clicked loudly in triumph. I spat at his face (threw the mask? Yeah, sure.) and his skin absorbed it. I cringed as I saw his face shift slightly, looking like mine...before my face got fucked up. 

  "Aw sick," I yelped, kicking my leg out and hitting him in the nuts. He fell down in the familiar agony and I immediately dropped from the building we were standing on, flipping him off with my baby middle finger just as a random dumpster truck saved me.

I jumped off of it when it pulled back up to my house, and walked in with my mangled body and opened my microwave to see my hot pocket waiting for me. "Badababa, HOT POCKETS, YUM!" I cheered.

--TIMESKIP TO NEXT DAY--

Peter POV

I went to school today in a skort because Wanda said that'd be cheating the system. Of course, I was still very happy I got to wear something a girl could wear, but just in case, Steve packed tictac (AKA Scott) in my lunchbox. I'm walking to school, seeing as Steve had work today. As I shuffled my bag on my back, I felt my senses tingle slightly. It wasn't exactly threatening, but it was a dull warning.

"What the--"
And that's when I felt a hand slip up my skort and grab my butt lightly.
Oh hell naw, boi.

I whipped around and slapped whoever grabbed my butt with some much force I couldn't fell my palm.

As expected, it was a middle-aged man, drunk off his rocker. "Heya babe, looking to have a good time," He asked with a hiccup. "Perv," I scoffed, before turning back to walk on my way to school. "Hey, you may not be a girl but I'm sure you screaming my name will still work," The drunk man pouted, burping under his breath.

"I wish a bitch would," I said loudly, hoping Scott could hear my attempted assault, and he hopefully wasn't munching on my sandwich. Scott didn't respond. I attempted to run, only to have my arm pulled back.

And now's the part where I hate myself for Peter Parker being a puny nerd while Spiderman, who is not here right now, is strong and brave. So, I did the next best thing a young male who loves dressing up in female clothing would do:
I yelled.

"RAPE! THIS FUCKER IS TRYING TO RAPE ME!"
The drunk man yelled some slurs at me before shoving me into a dark alleyway. Great.

Fucking  F A N T A S T I C

He pushed me against the wall aggressively, and in the process, made me drop my lunchbox and bag. I struggled, still screaming, only for him to cover my mouth with his very dirty hand.

"Shush, and don't struggle hiccup and we can both have a good time," the drunk man assured me.

I scowled at him and crossed my legs and he tried to pull my skort down. A dark shadow bounced into the alleyway, but the drunk man didn't seem to notice. "Your skin is so soft and clean. Innocent."

I tried to cry out again but it only came out muffled. "Leave the beautiful young man alone you drunk sad man with a depressing life," a familiar voice said sternly.

"D-Deadpool!"  I tried to cry out, but it sounded like Med-pool. Deadpool smirked and kicked the drunk man away with ease. "What a douche, right" Deadpool smiled.

I nodded. "What? Can't talk now," Deadpool teased. I gulped and shakily picked up my things and pointed into the direction of my school.

"I-I-I need to go. I've g-got school," I stuttered before walking away.

Way to go, Pete.
Just had to embarrass yourself in front of the mercenary, didn't you?

Ah, fuck my life.

"Oh," I shuffled my lunchbox to my face and opened it, to see Scott holding my headphone (more like using one bud) while nibbling on my sandwich.

He hadn't felt or heard that whole ordeal?!
Scott looked at me like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing he had done something wrong. Fucking, asshole.

"Yeah, fuck you too Scott," I smiled, before closing the lunchbox and marching back to school.