Chapter 65

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Bridget's POV

The boys smile at my siblings as they hop off the stage and hug Taylor. It was unbelievably nice for Harry to set this up for my mom to give her the opportunity to sing and perform again. We make it back to the house and Harry takes everyone to ice cream; except Taylor and I. I wasn't in the mood for ice cream and I guess that she didn't either. "Glass of wine?" she asks, pulling out the open bottle of red wine and not even waiting for my response before she slide the glass down to me, taking a sip of her wine.

"How have you been mom?"

"yeah, I've been well" she gives me a half laugh

"Have I ever told you how grateful I am that you're my mom" I look down at my glass while I rim the glass with my finger, "remember when I would sit here waiting for breakfast in my basketball uniform, pissed off at you for doing something that actually benefited me." I jokes

"I remember, pretty well."

"I also wanted to tell you that everything that you have done for me, I'm truly grateful for"

"What are you getting at?" Taylor ask, taking another sip of her wine

"I just want you to know that because you were there for me, I'm always here for you" I make my way over to the counter and sit next to her, "I don't know what your deal is with Harry, but whatever it is, I want you to know that I'm here for you"

I take a deep breath, watching her down the glass of wine, looking over at me. I quickly get up and grabbing a water. "I'm tired of loving him Bridg"

"Why"

"Why do you think? I'm constantly getting hurt by him! I know that he's bad and I know that he has never really been there for me, but I can't stop loving him. Everything I do, think, wonder has to do with him and I just want to stop loving him"

"Well, do you think maybe it's different this time?"

"Of course its fucking different this time!" My mom throws her hands up in anger and she sighs, looking at me, "every time I see him, hes different and it always seems for the better until he hurts me again! And I'm so-I'm so tired of it Bridget! I can't let him in again"

I stand, giving her a hug, letting her head fall to my chest, "I want to love him, I do love him, I just hate that I love him. I hate it Bridget! I hate-I just hate this! I hate that I have to look okay for the kids, that I have to act like I'm fine around them so they don't see me weak, but I'm weak Bridget. I'm so weak" I shush her and run my hands through her hair as I feel the tears fall down to my shirt. "I can't deal with this empty hole in my heart"

"He does all of these nice things for me and then goes home to that bitch model that lives with him but I have to act like I'm okay with it. I went to dinner thinking that if I saw them together I would feel okay making him leave but I couldn't"

"Make him leave?" I pull her off my chest and walk her to the couch with another glass of wine for her and my water over with me.

"Long story short I brought Audrey to the car because she was rude, and when I went back to ask Harry to bring Mason home he told me he loved me, and that he didn't want to be with that girl that's been living with him"

"Why did he all of a sudden have feelings for you?"

She looks down at her wine glass and looks up with her eyes, "umm"

"Mom..."

"I uh slept with him a couple times" she looks back down and I know instantly that she's lying, or more or less not telling the full truth. She makes eye contact with me again and sighs, "okay, maybe throughout a whole night and day. But thatdoenstmeaniwantedhimtofallformeagain" she spits out the end, just so I didn't have enough time to yell at her. Sometimes I feel like being a mom is transferred over to my relationship with my mom and my birth mom.

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