La Muñeca

Tú eres mi refugio y mi verdad

••Song; Mi Verdad -Mana & Shakira ••

Güero takes my hand walking me to the room as I spot Perez furiously walking away from us. I look down to his path as I hear the door slam shut, but I try not to feel bad about him. I love him in my own way but nothing like he wants me.

I owe him my life for standing by my side but I don't know what to do for him. The heart wants what the heart wants.

As he takes us to our room I follow behind, wondering what going to come next. Is it more painful? More of the reminder of what I am to him? He pushes me down to the soft cushion couch that in the corner of the room. "Mariposa please forgive me."

He gets on his knees leaning his head down on my lap like a scorned child. I don't want to touch him I just look down as I feel wetness on my knees he pleads his case.
"I've never been through this before. The day I lost you was the day I lost me, I vow to find you but my best friends' wife had just died and for some reason, I understood his pain. The fact he needed help with his children was like if you need help as well. Then when you told me I had a son, I jump for joy in my heart but sadness has been eating me alive when I saw pictures of Henry and Joaquin around OUR home. I didn't mind I swear I didn't but my fucking father...."

There it was I knew it was a bad idea.
"he told me about Valentino. It made sense about DVD, it made my ego deflated. An ego I never thought I really had. Then everyone around me kept calling Mr. Collins or your friend. The fact that Joaquin doesn't even really know exactly who I am- just hurts. This doesn't give me an excuse to treat you differently I don't blame you if you won't break off the engagement. "

I don't even say anything I just take it all in the silent crying has not stopped as I feel more tears drop on my knees. I grab his face as he looks at me, "ok its time to come clean and I should have told you everything. I was waiting for him to adjust to the new life here since I have been so busy with me adjusting as well it slip my mind."

"Sorry my love I'm sensitive when comes to you, I don't want to lose you again. Let's sit in the tub with some music and turn on the jets."

We walk into the bathroom with our fingers intertwining he stood before me where he was the man I fell in love with. He gently removes my rip blouse that had too many buttons missing, "Sorry my love I will get you twenty more of these silk shirts. By the way, you look super sexy librarian."
I let go of soft chuck I miss his sense humor, his gentle touch but mostly I just miss him.
We both sat in the tub as my back lean against his chest I can hear his heart beat as he rubs scented body wash on my neck message his fingers into my muscles I lean my head back taking in his touch. I start talking, I mean really start talking.
I start from the very moment my mother left me in Mexico, at this point I was opening my closet and letting my skeletons and pain roam free.

I'm talking away all he does is give my body gentle rubs, he doesn't interrupt or even sigh. My rapid heartbeat tries to keep up with the cascade of words escaping my mouth, the classical music playing in the Bluetooth speakers as the song Malinconia Ninfa Gentile comes through I feel the world full of pain. It was the perfect song to speak to me in more ways than none. I was begging god as well to be heard.

Once I get to the part that leads me to here into his arms I exhale the breath I was holding in, he rubs my stomach with complete relaxation and easy. He presses his lips into my ears, "I love you even more. This all I wanted, to be part of you not so much your world but you. To know that it's me you trust and it's me that owns your heart is all that matters."

He places his hands on my cheeks rubbing my flesh with his thumbs as I lean to take him with my mouth as our tongues do a sensual dance. A loud knock shakes me from our moment, "I'll get it."

He wraps himself with a robe. I hear Joseph speaking to Güero as whispers and hushes coming from their voices. I quickly get out wrapping myself with a robe that doesn't seem to cover my baby bump, "Jeffa." Joseph bows, "Amor, I told him you were showering."
"What is it?" I demand him to respond, "I can't reach him and we found them."
"Get the plane ready and men, now." He storm out, "Please Mariposa don't leave, let them handle it your pregnant."
I drop my robe down as I run to my closet, looking for any bulletproof clothing that I manage to get into.
"I need to do this, please Güero ."
He looks down with sadness and guilt but he doesn't stop me.
"NO! STAY. Those are my children I have a say so in this matter."

I let out a loud laugh now he wants to do this? I pulling my guns on my body.
"I have let you fuck me until it fucking hurts, I have let you hurt me in the past couple months only thinking about YOUR fucking feelings. NOW, this has to do with me. Get in my way you won't see either of us again."

I place on black silk blouse that wilder than most shirts and black legging with brown knee boots to place my knives and guns. Being pregnant has been a little harder to navigate around the extra weight to place on the hosiers, Güero walks in help me as much as possible but his face tells a sad story.
"I don't want to stop you I know how important this is to you but these are my children please don't place them in danger. I wouldn't know how to forgive myself if something happened to you or them."

"I promise I'll be back, but I need to find her."

I hear his concerns but all that I can think about is saving my mother just the way she saved me.
I storm downstairs as quickly as possible, "Jet is ready we should be at our destination in two-three hours. We'll discuss plans in the jet." I just nod as I jump into SUV I look back at Güero. There he stood by the front door looking back and forth between me and the moon as if he whispered a silent prayer.

The drive to the small airport was dreadful and the fact that Perez was nowhere to be found wasn't sitting well with me but I need to do this with or without him. I will deal with him later. Now the only person on my mind was saving her life just the way she saved mine.