The Shallow Places (ON HOLD)

Chapter Eleven

In the days that followed, I tended to Eli hand and foot, and I was reluctant to leave his side. I was with him so much, it began to feel like routine for me. One particular day when I entered his room, the space was darker than usual. The drapes were pulled shut and the light was off. My finger hovered over the switch on the wall, but I was unsure if he was awake.

"Eli?" I whispered.

His voice came back in short, clipped tones. He sounded irritated. "Leave the light off, please," Eli said, then his tone grew softer, "Just come sit with me."

I felt my way with an outstretched hand, moving through the darkness and feeling nothing but air before me. His hot hand curled around my arm as he pulled me to him. His grip was welcoming, but I could sense there was something wrong in the space between us. Something that made him tense and on edge, and made me fearful.

I couldn't see him in the darkness, but I sighed with relief as he pulled me into the space by his chest. I rested my head on Eli, hearing his heart thump faster and louder than usual. I didn't know if it was a result of the infection, or just having me close to him. His breathing was unsteady too, and it made me extremely nervous.

"Are you all right?" I whispered, looking up at the place where his face should be. I could see a silhouette, but his features were masked by the dark.

That's how I felt when I stared at him. It felt as if I wasn't talking to Eli, but rather talking to someone wearing a mask to cut off all emotional ties. I thought he was doing it on purpose, to make his death easier for the both of us.

"Just a headache," Eli hushed. The usual lightness to his voice was replaced with a dull hint of pain. I knew how badly he must have been hurting. "It'll pass," he assured me.

I wasn't confident, but his tone was encouraging. He nuzzled my face as he whispered, "I wish I could keep you. Forever."

I nodded and tears threatened to spill over on my cheeks. He couldn't see me, and so I took the opportunity to be weak for just a moment. Silently, crying seemed to lift a burden from my shoulders that I felt I had been carrying with me for years. Here in Eli's embrace, I felt comforted and sheltered, and I didn't have to worry about anything.

I knew I was being selfish though. Eli had enough on his shoulders as it was, with the pain, the realization that he was dying, and what he would do after. I couldn't let him take my pain too. It would be too much.

"You're crying," he whispered, frowning. He raised a hand to my cheek to wipe them away, and it felt almost refreshing. My skin was hot where he touched.

"You can see?" I asked, appalled that I hadn't realized sooner. Of course he could see.

"That's why I asked you to leave the light off," Eli explained, "My eyes can't adjust to normal light anymore."

He was changing. He was becoming a Stillwalker, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Soon, he would try to eat me when I sat with him like this. I stroked his hand, trying to sooth him and myself at once, "Your skin feels like fire."

"Yes," he agreed, his tone becoming irate as he spoke, "You can't imagine how it feels inside. It burns. It's like when you touch a hot stove, but it's constant, just searing in my blood."

"I can't fathom it," I replied, saddened that I couldn't share his feeling. I wanted to understand, so that he wouldn't have to journey this toilsome road alone. I could sense the infection within him, coursing through his blood and demanding his soul. But Eli was strong, refusing to falter under the weight of such pressure.

He shook his head and started to pull away, "I'm sorry. You shouldn't keep coming here. It's not safe. Everyday, I become more and more unstable." His words made my heart sink. He didn't want me anymore.