The Lost Ones // Cameron Dallas Love Story

Chapter 19: Missing You

It's funny, you meet these people and they make you laugh and they give you hope and they make you realize that there is so much more to life and when you're with them you forget how empty and depressed you felt before.

As you meet these people, you just might possibly find your wonderwall; that person you find yourself thinking about all the time. The person you are completely infatuated with. That person was Cameron.

No matter how long we hung out, the minute he leaves I feel completely alone. I hated the feeling of being wrapped around his finger without him even trying. My lips turn into a smile every time I hear his name, my stomach does flips and my heart rate increases when I see him and we lock eyes.

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in love with Cameron but maybe I was, I don't know want falling in love is like. I've never experienced it and never thought I would. I expected myself to be alone for the rest of my life due to my stubbornness. I had so many wall built up, protecting myself from being hurt anymore. They were like big blocks of cement, I thought nobody could break or push them off.

But Cameron is, one by one he's pushing those cement blocks that surround my heart down. I felt vulnerable around Cameron, I hated it but at the same time I loved it. But I can't stop myself from thinking, how can I expect someone to love me if I can't even love myself?

I'm such a fucking mess even I don't like to be bothered by myself. I don't understand how he deals with me and my tons of baggage. I'm a handful and anyone who enters my life always seems to leave which is why I don't wanna get too attached to Cameron. I'm afraid he'll see how much I am to handle and leave me.

It scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie. My trust issues get in the way of almost everything I do. I want to fully trust Cameron but you never know what's the truth or what's a lie. Everything he has said to me in the past two and a half months can be fabrication.

My thoughts were interrupted by the incessant ringing of my phone on my nightstand beside my bed. I gasped slightly, a little frightened, before looking down at the position I was in; my knees up to my chest, arms wrapped around them and my vision was fixated on the wall as I thought, reclining my head against the dark wooden bed frame.

I turned my head and grabbed my phone, looking at the bright screen and caller ID. It was an unknown number which kind of freaked me out, my paranoia went into action.

"What if fans got your number and are calling to threaten you?"

"What if it's him and he's calling to tell you he's gonna kill you?"

What if, what if, what if.

I let out a shaky breath and finally answered it, tentatively raising it to my ear.

"H-Hello?" I stuttered.

"Emelia! It's Jack Gilinsky. I got your number from Nash, I hope you don't mind." His cheerful voice boomed through the speaker.

I let out a sigh of relief, "Uh no, it's fine. Can I help you?" I asked.

"Well, I promised Cameron I'd try and keep you busy so you wouldn't be alone." He explained.

A small smile spread across my lips, "That's nice of you but you don't have to, I'm fine." I lied.

"No it's cool, I want to. Have you eaten yet?" He asked.

"No"

"Good, meet us at In & Out and we can have lunch together?" He suggested.

I thought about it for a second, "Uh.." I trailed off, "Sure"