it's only us ♡ deh one-shots

dear mia hansen -☼

so @itsyoguheath requested some zoe and mia stuff, so here's something i just thought up lol

☼☼☼

Dear Mia Hansen,

So you more than likely don't remember me at all, but I'm your mom...

The words in the notebook looked dumber than... well, Zoe could think of a lot of things that these words looked dumber than. The pencil's eraser flicked through the words, until all that was left was "Dear Mia Hansen."

Zoe knew that she had gone through a lot in her 29 years of life. She endured her abusive brother, her clueless parents, and, of course, the lie.

The lie, as Zoe referred to it as, was something she didn't think about as often. She loved Evan with all of her heart, but after Zoe gave up Mia, they never got together. As much as Zoe hated to admit it, she kind of wished that she and Evan got married or stayed together. After all, she wouldn't have to be in this situation if she had stayed with Evan and Mia. Then again, she knew that most young parents that got married didn't stay together. Naturally these statistics came from all of the Teen Mom shows that Zoe's mother made her watch in middle school (ironic, I know). In the end, Evan and Zoe would both admit that they were both too scared to rush into marriage. They preferred the option with less pain.

Zoe always found it crazy how without the crazy lie, Mia wouldn't be alive.

Giving up her baby so she could focus on her final year of college was obviously one of the midst difficult things she ever had to do. However, writing this letter to her 8 year old felt even harder. Zoe highly doubted she would even send the thing to her. Zoe didn't even have a clue if Mia knew she existed. Of course, Evan would send her updates about the girl, but he never had the talk with Mia about the status of her mother.

Dear Mia Hansen,

I'm your mother.

Those three words were even worse. They sounded like some forced line on a NBC drama.  More erases were made. Despite being a journalist and poet, Zoe was never good at writing letters. Evan was clearly the better letter writer.

Zoe ripped the paper from out of her notebook. There was nothing to say to her daughter. An 8 year old probably wouldn't understand the gravity of Zoe's situation, and the last thing Zoe wanted was her baby girl to be mad at her. Granted, Zoe already figured Mia was mad at her. She found this understandable, seeing how she had just dumped her daughter off with her father.

God, I'm so selfish... Zoe thought as she stared up at the ceiling. She almost wished that she put glow in the dark stars up there. Childish, yes, but Zoe loved them. Zoe had some in her bedroom for most of her life. Whenever her brother was having a screaming match with their parents, she would lay on her bed and count the stars on the ceiling. She always knew to stop at 150, but sometimes she hoped that she would mess up so she could start over.

Instead of counting stars on ceilings, so started to draw some. It was a habit that she developed when she was in middle school during her "borderline edgy phase". During this phase, Zoe would wear Disney shirts from Hot Topic and write song lyrics on her converse and jeans. As she got older, she only drew on paper.

When Zoe realized that she reached 176, her iPhone started to ring from her pocket. She pulled it out, not looking at who was calling her.

"Hello?" Zoe answered.

"Hey, Zo..." a familiar voice replied.

"Hi, Evan..." she smiled, "What's up?"

"Nothing much... I just dropped Mia off at dance, and I don't have much to do right now..."

"I see..." Zoe started, "Hey, so I've been trying to figure something out for Mia's birthday and I have no clue what to do..."

"Well, my mom and some of her friends are going to have a party... If you want to go you can..."

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're all going to this little arcade-slash-go kart place? It's like a big-kid Chuck E. Cheese."

"That sounds fun..." Zoe smiled, "But in all seriousness, I don't think I'll go... I don't know if she's ready... Hell, I don't know if I'm ready..."

"It's okay..." Evan responded, "Do whatever your comfortable with..."

"Well, I want to do something for her... Like, what's she into?"

"Dance, American Girl, makeup, that one computer game... Poptropica, I think that's what it's called..."

"Oh my God, kids still play Poptropica?" Zoe asked, excitedly. She remembered playing Poptropica all the time as a kid.

"I guess so... I never played it, so I still have no clue what it is..." Evan laughed.

"Okay... I think I have some gift ideas... I'll order them and then drop them off at your house or mail them to you..."

"Sounds good..." Evan replied, "So, I guess I'll talk to you soon..."

"Yep," Zoe couldn't help but smile.

"Gotcha... Well, you know how to reach me..."

"I love you..." Zoe couldn't believe she let the words slip out so easily. What had once been a piece of cake now felt like a huge deal.

"I love you too..." Evan replied, "Bye..."

"Bye..." Zoe responded. For the first time in what felt like a while, she smiled.

For once, she felt like a normal mom.