all yours | antoine griezmann

08

All Yours
08 | Leave it alone

Antoine

All I could do was pace around the room wondering what the hell possessed me to do that, what was I thinking? I wasn't thinking at all, but here I am pacing around the once shared bedroom thinking how I screwed up. I don't know what came over me, it just happened in the moment. Happened in the moment? What bullshit, I felt like punching myself. I was angry, beyond angry I couldn't even describe the feeling. It was all the pressure reaching the breaking point I did what I thought was right.

She wasn't going to come back to me, not anymore, not this time. We've already been through so much, jumped so many obstacles in our way and we've pushed through stronger each time. I sat on the edge of the bed tugging at my roots wishing for some sort of reversal in events, I was completely angry with myself for making such a stupid decision. I wondered where she was right now, how distraught she must be.

I had thought I was over the Fernando situation, I thought I had it under control. But seeing him practically drool every time he see's her was starting to get in my nerves. They were over, for months now and that's what I needed to keep telling myself. I thought if I make nice with him everything be alright, Amelia was with me at the end of the day. She was with me because she loved me, Fernando was making harder and harder for me. I watched him closely every time I would bring her to the stadium, his eyes would never be anywhere else but her. How was I supposed to live with that?

How do you expect me to be able to live with the fact her ex boyfriend is still in love with her? I tried, God I tried so hard but in the end jealously got the best of me. The realisation suddenly hit me that we weren't together anymore, the fact that tomorrow morning I won't be waking up beside her or waking up to her singing her heart out in the kitchen whilst cooking. It hit me hard, was I ever going to be the same without her? I already missed her, I wanted to run out of here and find her and tell her I messed up. I didn't mean it, or did I?

I was unsure about how I felt, I knew I loved her and wanted to be with her more than anything but right now I truly hated her. I hated her for putting me through this heartache, I hated her for stringing me along when she's probably still in love with him. It's what I deserve, I went to her months ago telling her I loved her when she was still with him. They broke up and she care running back to me, for why? Did she truly love me? Did she mean all those words she said? So many different things were running through my mind right now.

It hurt me deeply to say I hated her right now in this moment, it truly hurt. I know I love her and I always will, she's my first real love. I can't help but feel this way right now. I love her, I love her. I won't ever stop loving her. I don't think I could ever stop loving her. My phone rang bringing me out of my thoughts, I grabbed it seeing it was Koke ringing me.

"Hey." I spoke lowly, my voice cracking slightly going unnoticed I hoped.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted at me over the phone.

"Excuse me?"

"You broke up with her? Are you out of your freaking mind?" I wondered how did he already know? It meant Amelia was at his house at this moment.

"Koke leave it alone." I said with a sort of warning tone, I didn't want to get into something that didn't involve him. I was already beyond annoyed and didn't want to make it worse.

"Don't tell me to leave it alone, you've fucked up." He responded growing angry at me.

"Leave it alone—" He interrupted me before I could continue, "I'm coming over I'll be there in a few minutes." He said and hung up the call, I groaned not wanting to have to deal with Koke at this moment.

A few minutes passed and soon he was banging at my door, I ran down the stairs letting him in. He walked straight in not even bothering to greet me at the door.

"What were you thinking?" He started, it was evident how angry he was by his voice.

"I don't understand why you're getting involved?" I questioned almost, this only seemed to anger him further.

"You two are my best friends here you know that, we're always together and then you go and do this?"

"I get it we're all friends but it doesn't concern you." I spoke, I had no idea why I was speaking to him like this. I wouldn't usually, I was hurt and that was simply taking over me right now.

"Antoine stop, stop with this stupid attitude you have going on right now because I'm trying to help you."

"Just drop it I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm trying to help you." He said, I looked at him briefly before replying.

"Helping me how? By asking me constantly why I did what I did?"

"You realise she's heartbroken because she thinks it's all her fault, she should've never been with him because now look what it's caused."

"I hope she realises I'm just as heartbroken as her, if not more."

"Oh believe me she does, she's sat in my house crying at the fact that you're hurt." I felt a small pang in a chest, Amelia hated seeing me upset in any form. She would instantly be upset herself which didn't always resolve things.

"She's probably already cried herself to sleep whilst your standing here not caring." Koke said brushing me off almost.

"What do you want me to say? Fernando was getting under my skin and I tried to ignore it believe me I tried but I just couldn't anymore." I started, "It was all in the moment and to tell you the truth of course I regret it but right now I'd rather have some space away from her or his face."

"Don't you think you're being a little unfair?" Koke said, I raised my eyebrows at him slightly offended that he would think I was being unfair. I was being anything but that.

"Me being unfair?" I paused pointing at myself, "As if, get a grip of yourself and just leave it be."

"What an asshole you are." Koke said walking past me opening the door and leave my house. He slammed the door behind him leaving the resonating sound behind.

I leaned against the door slowly sliding down hitting the floor eventually, I was on the verge of breaking down. I kept pulling at my hair tugging on the roots at the point of pain, I didn't care anymore I just wanted to be left alone.

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I didn't read through this for any mistakes whoops, enjoy