all yours | antoine griezmann

05

All Yours
05 | Why did I find Fernando's jacket in your closet?

Perhaps I was overthinking the whole situation, perhaps it was much simple than it was. I was stressing which led to my mind overthinking everything. This was dumb, why was I allowing two men to completely take over my thoughts? It's silly of me to even let this happen, I should just stop thinking about it and carry on with my life.

"Hey Antoine." I said pecking his lips as I sat down at the kitchen table.

"Morning." He simply said, he didn't return the kiss at all and barely even looking at me. Instantly I wondered what was going on with him, why was he suddenly acting like this?

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." I instantly knew something was wrong, Antoine never responded by saying he's fine. He always responded by showing affection and saying he's doing amazing.

"What's going on with you?" I asked straight off, he was acting strange and this wasn't usual for me.

"Nothing, what's going on with you?" He remarked, I was slightly taken aback but I tried not to show it.

"Excuse me?"

"What's going on with you? You've been distant lately ever since that brunch." Had I truly been distant? I'd never thought about it like that, I didn't even think about Antoine's feelings during this whole thing. How selfish of me.

"There's nothing going on with me." I lied, I wasn't exactly going to come out and spill my whole guts to him.

"Don't lie to me, I know there is." He leaned closer to me, "Why won't you just talk to me?" I felt horrible in that moment, I didn't want to make him feel as if I couldn't talk to him.

"I don't understand why your being like this, you know I talk to you about everything."

"Tell me this then," He paused, "Why did I find Fernando's jacket in your closet?" My eyes widened slightly, I didn't even know where to start.

"What?" It was all I could say, the only word that managed to leave my mouth. I must've sounded so stupid, Antoine looked at me with a hurt expressive all over this face.

"You heard me, why did I find Fernando's jacket in your closet?" The only thing I could do was tell him the truth.

"I bumped into him the other day as I was walking home from Sofia's house, I was freezing as I didn't have enough layers."

"When was this?"

"The day you had training and you weren't going to be at home till eight." He didn't say anything for a few seconds, he just looked at me.

"He left early that day, I don't know why." Antoine said, I knew why.

"I was walking home and he noticed how cold I was and handed me his jacket, I refused but he handed it anyways." I said, Antoine must've really been annoyed by this as his whole expression changed, he looked angry.

"Why is the jacket still there?"

"I haven't had time to give it back to him." I said, I wasn't lying. I had just forgotten to give it back despite him being at my house the other day. Or did I just not want to give it back yet? Simply because he gave it to me, although I have jumpers he's given me that I wear till this day, the jacket was different. It meant something to me that I didn't even know yet.

"Amelia I just—" He stopped running his hands through his hair, "I just can't."

"Antoine listen to me, I love you okay? I know Fernando and I have a rocky history but that's what it is, history." I brag my hands up to his face cupping his cheeks, "I don't want you to think there's anything going on because there isn't, we're simply just friends that's it. If it makes you happy, I'll return the jacket today."

I waited for him to reply, to say anything but I waited what seemed like ages to him to say anything to him, "Alright, okay" He said, I completely melted into his arms and I felt him give into me.

"I'm sorry for acting like this." He whispered as our arms were still wrapped around each other's, I felt myself completely giving into him.

"Antoine it's okay, I understand." I let go of him and placed a kiss on his cheek, he smiled slightly. I got up from my chair, "I'm going to return it right now okay? I'll be back soon." I said, he nodded his head. I ran upstairs grabbing the jacket and my purse and I got ready to leave the house.

I drove over to Fernando's house slightly remembering the directions, I remember a time where Antoine needed to me to pick him up at his house and I had no idea it was Fernando. I only assumed he didn't see me sitting in the car that day, undoubtably Antoine had probably told him it was me picking him up but I wasn't sure.

I reached Fernando's house soon enough and went over to knock on his door, I waited for a few minutes before I heard footsteps behind the door.

"Hey." Fernando stopped at the door once he saw me, "Hi Amelia, what you doing here?" He asked, it was noticeable how slightly taken aback he was by my unexpected arrival.

"Hi Fernando, sorry for turning up unexpectedly." I started, he chuckled and told me it was fine.

"How can I help you?"

"I just—uh I'm sorry, I came to return your jacket." I spoke, I grabbed the jacket holding it out to him. He looked at me strangely, he looked up and down. At me then the jacket.

"Uh, I thought you would keep—never mind thank you." He said taking the jacket from my hand, I smiled at him awkwardly and stood there still staring at him.

"I'm gonna just go now." I said, I was about to walk away when he stepped out of his door to grab my hand.

"Why are you returning it?" He asked, is that even a question?

"Why wouldn't I return it? It's your jacket not mine." I said, why else would I return it? Was he not thinking straight?

"I know that but—" He was about to continue speaking when I interrupted him, "Besides it's your favourite."

"You know it's my favourite?" He said, I nodded my head as he smiled widely at me. Did he think I didn't know that? I spent a year with the man and it completely takes me how he must've thought I never paid attention, well, I truly did.

"I'll see you soon." Fernando said, I just smiled and walked back to car. At least I'd returned the damn jacket, but that only made me feel plain sad.

Plain sad. That's how I felt in that moment, as I realised I was returning home empty handed without any sort of connection to Fernando. Despite the jumpers I have that are his, it just isn't the same. I needed something recent, something current that I could hold onto. I sighed and drove off back to my house where Antoine was probably waiting for me to return. I walked into the house seeing Antoine where I'd left him, at the kitchen table drinking his coffee and replying to emails.

"Hey you're back." He said his whole face lightly up, I sat down beside him pecking his lips quickly. I assumed I didn't take that long returning the jacket, I didn't want Antoine worrying about anything unnecessary.

"And you're still here." I joked, he rolled his eyes at me and continued typing an email on his laptop.

As we both sat there enjoying each other's company I started thinking about what I really want, and truth be told I don't know what the hell I want. I love Antoine and right now that's all I know, I shouldn't be letting Fernando get the best of me. For what? Why would I throw away such a working, comfortable relationship with Antoine. I'm happy with Antoine, but I could be happier with Fernando.