..my only escape.. (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 22

"Hee-young-ah!" Jimin said cheerfully. This was going to end badly real fast. It was hard enough hurting the man that I love, now I have to hurt my irreplaceable best friend. I needed to use the same tactic I used on Jungkook. This was going to be painful for the both of us but in order for them to focus on music and their careers I needed to do this. "What's wrong? Why are you soaking wet?" he asked touching my hair.

"Do you think we are still friends? I would never forgive you. I would never forgive you for leaving me all alone! I would never forgive you for almost driving myself to committing a suicide! Because of you my world fell apart. So don't even bother pretending as if we are close again. I was here for the money and I acted as if we were friends for the fame, because that's who I am. I use people. I'm not the same best friend you used to know," I said leaving his side and the building.

Before I could entirely leave, "Hee-young-ah, this is not you. I know you," he said holding my hand. My eyes started to tear up and my throat started to tighten and my face started to heat up from all the sadness stirring up in me.

"You forgot about me the day you left me and that's your fault alone," I said harshly. It really wasn't his fault but this was the only way, the harsh way.

"Hee-young-ah, I'm sorry. There were so many times I wanted to contact you but—," he said as I cut him off. I don't know why this felt so natural for me to do. So natural to hurt people.

"That's it though...you never even checked up on me until I was on my death bed. Is that how I'm supposed to call out for you now, Jimin?! Am I supposed to die on you, for you to come out of hiding and face me and talk to me and touch me?" I said now looking at him as tears were falling on both our eyes. Maybe what I said to him wasn't completely fake, maybe some of what I said was repressed inside of me and this was a way of letting it all out.

"I...I...I don't what to say," he said very confused and sad of the situation. Me too, I didn't know else to say. I just wanted to leave and hide somewhere. I didn't feel safe anymore, I felt cold and lonely.

"Maybe it's time we say goodbye," I said closing my eyes as a tear escaped. I hated goodbyes and for me to say it to two guys I loved (obv she doesn't love love Jimin but a bff love type) it was heart breaking.

"Don't do this...not now," he said as I saw tears escaping his eyes. His eyes were filled with sorrow and pain. I didn't wanted to do this, but I had to.

"It's my turn to leave you! Let's see how you feel when I'm gone and all your left to blaming is nobody but yourself. Jimin, consider yourself lucky! You have the perfect life and the support, I think you can handle letting go of one person," I said walking away. Why did I have to be so harsh to him? Why did I have to be so harsh to the both of them? They were my world. They were the two people holding on to me when I felt like letting go. I hated myself. I hated life. I hated how everyone around felt happy but me and now I was the cause of their pain.

***

It was 8 o'clock. I got out of bed and headed to work. I've been working for a week now and being the 'ex-girlfriend' of a k-idol can boost you up in the work environment like applying and finding jobs. I work in a dance studio where I teach teens the advancement of hip-hop. I live in Seoul still and working my ass off earning money to get an airplane ride back to Busan. Every since I left Jimin and Jungkook everything in me felt empty and numb so I decided to cut that part of my life and be more productive and over work myself at times. I walk out of my cheap small apartment and to the dance class. I arrived there just in time as I entered the classroom. "Hello guys—," I said as I was cut off from the tv turned on.

"Hello, everyone, I'll be your host for today! I'm joined by our very own BTS, Jungkook," the host of the show announced. Next to him was Jungkook putting up a smile, I couldn't tell if it was fake or not. All I felt inside was agony and misery all over again. This was the last thing I wanted to be reminded of.