..my only escape.. (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 5

 "Yah, what's wrong with you," Jungkook yelled. I can't believe he's so worked up in proving his the dominant one. I get it that you want to win in this war we are having but he doesn't have or wont give me the human decency to be nice. I held back tears and my eyes were starting to get heavy and blurry.

"Shut up Jungkook, you don't know everything," Jimin said acting as a shield and cannon for me. I missed the days when he was the only one who ever stood up for me. It reminded me of when I was often bullied and was thrown flour and eggs all over my body and when Jimin stood up for me and scared all the girls off. Part of the reason I was bullied was due to Jimin, since he was considered the most attractive guy, so he felt guilty.

"Well then tell me. I'm all open ears," he said demanding. I then looked at him as my eyes were filled up with water. I didn't want him to know I was tearing up but it was already pretty obvious.

"Yah will stop acting like the boss. What's gotten into you, you've changed so much ever since Hee-young got here," Jimin said forcefully. I heard all the other members agreeing to Jimin.

"Wait why are you crying? Jimin-ah what did u say to her?!," Jungkook said first looking at me with his concerned eyes and then looking at Jimin filled with rage. I hated this all, I hated the yelling. I felt bad for the other members who had to deal with this but there was no escape. I was locked in a car filled with non-stop drama. I remembered times like this during the foster system when I was indeed adopted once but everything was a disaster. Glass was thrown, non-stop yelling, non-stop abuse. I couldn't keep it all in and cried my eyes out and Jungkook grabbed me holding me in his arms tapping my back and stroking my hair, he felt very familiar.

"This was your doing, hyung," Jimin said back to Jungkook while me still being in his arms. I have to admit this wasn't really Jungkook's fault, it was mine. I got my feelings get in the way of the actual job at hand. I needed to control myself. Every time I did something that was unacceptable or something that affected others in a bad way I would hit my self. I got out of his arms and rolled my sleeves up and started punching my self as I could see all the visible bruises on my arms. I was stopped by Jungkook's hand and looked at my arms.

"Don't do that again, arasso? If you need a punching bag so desperately, use me, I owe you that much after making you cry," he said concerned. Wow, I bet this was taking a lot out of him to move his ego and confidence aside and rise me up to the surface. I didn't feel like drowning at this moment, I felt like floating. He then pulled my sleeve down. The car then stopped and Taehyung grabbed me out of the car. We seemed to be outside of probably a private hotel. He pulled me to a corner of the building in the lobby area. There were no members to be found in our distance. He gripped my shoulders tightly and had 'sorry' written all over his face. I didn't have time for this.

"Look, I'm sorry. I want you to be mine again," he sounded genuine and desperate. I wasn't going to be taken back to the past and I didn't want to. Whenever I see his face it sends heart pains and that's not how love feels. Love is all about trust and after what he said in the plane, I could tell he never loved me but just had doubts the entire time.

"You had me once Tae but you lost me. You lost me due to your fears and doubts. Do you really think that's what love is?," I said with a lump of sorrow in my throat as I gulped. I had to play the dominant role right now even when I felt less superior to him. "You never loved me Tae so what makes you think I will believe whatever you say now...you never contacted me to give me an answer to why you left...you never gave me a reason so I was left to believing it was all my fault. I was left to blame and hurt myself because I thought I did something wrong. If you really care about me, let me go," I said as I left him and tears were falling down which he didn't witness. Right then, Jungkook was in front of me most likely have heard the conversation. The last thing I wanted was for the whole group, especially Jimin, to know me and Tae were a thing. I didn't want to risk Jimin's and Tae's relationship just because of my past. I quickly pulled Jungkook to some random room.