..my only escape.. (COMPLETED)

CHAPTER 17

 I slowly woke up to see a doctor by my side. It didn't look like I was in a hospital but instead like a nurse office that were found at amusement parks. My whole body felt weak but I had enough strength to speak, "How long was I out?"

"Around an hour," a girl doctor responded. I removed the mask that was attached to my face.

"Oh no, they must have been worried," I said looking at my phone. I was left to see '0' calls and '0' messages. I still smiled to keep a positive mind. "Hey, um can you please not tell anyone I was here," I said pleadingly. But before I could return to standing again the doctor explained a few things.

"Um, however you won't be able to stand for probably 30 minutes or so, so you will be needing a wheel chair," she said and showed one to me. I grabbed the bed for support to go in my wheel chair. "Do you have someone to assist you?" she asked. The truth was I did have someone but no one that would be willing to assist me.

"Umm yeah for sure, I'll just have to find them," I said smiling happily.

"Oh um please be sure not to exhaust yourself because looking at the data results you seem to be doing that a lot. If you see your face getting pale and your lips dry again take these pills. Part of the reason were easily exhausted and pale was because something impacted your ribs. Another sign is if you begin to shake, so if you take 2-3 pills whenever it happens again you will begin to heal back to your normal state. However you will need to get that checked by a doctor," she said smiling and handing me the pills. I chose to ignore the last part. I grabbed the pills and hid it in my purse and thanked the doctors. I went searching for them and I finally found them I sped up.

"Hey guys!!!" I said and before they looked over at me Jungkook was grabbing her waist and she was grabbing his face. I gulped and as I felt a large amount of pain. Were they really going to kiss in public? Was he doing this to prove a point to me? Suddenly she left him and Jungkook was heading my way. Was that the end of their date?

"Did you see? There was a girl unconscious on the floor over there. How can someone be that stupid to collapse like that?" he said laughing. I started to nervously laugh. He didn't know it was me, which I didn't want him know. Because part of the reason I passed out was because of him and I didn't want that guilt running through him even if it made him care for me more I couldn't be that selfish. "Yah! Why are you in a wheel chair? Don't be dramatic, you can stand," he said shaking the wheel chair.

"Yeah, I'm being dramatic," I said fake laughing. As I got off the wheel chair I was shaking due to one of the signs the doctor warned me about. I got 3 pills out of the container and I realised Jungkook was looking at me. I covered the labels of the medicine container. "Oh these are lemon flavoured candy, want some?" I asked knowing he would say 'no'. Jungie...I mean Jungkook was never a fan of lemon flavoured anything.

"Have you fo—... I mean yuck what the hell," he said not finishing his first sentence. He was going to ask 'Have you forgotten?' and the answer was no. I see he wanted to cover the past and move on. "Gaja!" he said grabbing my arms forcibly.

***

"I'll sleep on the floor," I said now sitting on the floor. He just shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care what I did or said. I don't know why I was so wounded by his actions. I walked outside and called for Jimin. He left his room and I asked if I could talk to him because I really needed him now. We both sat at the alley hallway. "I'm sorry to drag you out here," I said and started to shake again. I felt myself sweating and I grabbed my pills.

"Hee-young-ah, your face is pale," he said touching my face for my temperature. I removed his hands from my face and while shaking.

"Listen, you can't tell Jungkook-ah about this, ok? I will get better after a couple days of taking these," I said holding up the pills. I gulped down 3 pills and then started to feel a lot better.

"It was him wasn't it, that made you sick," he said already coming to a conclusion. I wasn't going to lie to Jimin and told him the whole truth about what happen today. His fists and jaw clenched. "I'm holding back for you," he said looking at me, "I know you love him."

"That was part of the reason I came here to talk to you about. Remember in the stage when I mentioned Jungie the guy I met on the streets, that was Jungkook. And he revealed himself yesterday and I told him I never loved him," I said tearing up, "But the truth is, that was lie. And now he's treating me like I don't mean anything to him and I'm starting to believe it's true." I was now hugging him and he held on to me with my head resting on his shoulders.

"Jungkook might seem like he's tough but I know deep down...very deep down there will always be a place for you in his heart," he said now looking at me, "It's just thats how he deal with situations when everything comes crumbling down and he feels like he's got no one."

"But when I was physically abused, why didn't he do anything?" I asked crying while he was wiping my tears.

"Maybe be he wanted you to think he was a monster that should never be loved by someone as special as you because he's scared, scared that you would get hurt. Trust me the last thing he wants for you is to be physically hurt, it must have taken a lot out of him to see you abused. He just wants to hurt you with his words to make you hate him," he said comforting me. "No one deserves a heart like yours and he sure is hell lucky to be loved by such a wonderful person as you," he said making me smile.

"Yah! You're making me blush," I said laughing in tears. I gave him a last goodbye hug and returned to my room but since I didn't have the keycard in my hand I ringed the doorbell. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. The door opened to a shirtless Jungkook who was half asleep. His hair was slightly messed up but in a way he still looked presentable. His abs were doing just fineeeeeeee and he was wearing grey joggers. I nudged him making my way in the room and settling myself on the floor. I was thrown a pillow and a blanket at the head.

I looked at my phone and it read '3:10'. I couldn't sleep tonight. My ribs were especially hurting then. I grabbed the pills once more and gulped another 3 pills. After a few seconds I felt better and went back to sleep.

***

Today was the day of the red carpet but instead it being held in the U.S. it was held in Seoul along with other Korean bands. Me and the band members were all in a big spaced room where a lot of the staff would fix us up for the show. This time, as the 'girlfriend' of Jungkook I was invited to be his guest for the awarding ceremony. It was a black and white themed event and so I was required to wear a revealing white dress while my 'partner' was wearing black. (outfit: )

A couple hours later I came out of the dressing room and I got a lot of looks. All from the staff and the band members. I then stumbled and felt weak and Jimin rushed over to me and I whispered in his ear, "Get me the pills. There...there...in my bag."

"Are you ok Hee-young?" all the members expect Jungkook asked. Jungkook was nowhere to be seen and Jimin secretly gave me 3 pill to swallow and I felt better than ever. I started to walk over to the other members.

"Wah, Hee-young-ah you're stunning," RM said amazed.

"Damn, you're looking fine," J-hope said clapping his hands and smiled brightly.

"Trade dates?" seokjin said laughing at his own joke.

"Ok I don't say this to anyone but you're really beautiful," suga said smiling and putting a thumbs up.

"You're beautiful as always," Tae said and I just nodded to be polite to him.

"You already know what I'm thinking," Jimin said biting his lip and smiling.

Jungkook had finally arrived and we both couldn't take our eyes off each other. We then broke off realising what we were doing. All the the members were telling him what they thought of my look and asked what he thought. I just smiled slightly.

"Eh, there are better," he said not giving a care. All the members just kept complaining about his comment. I just left the room to grab some air. I didn't know why I went out there but that's what my heart told me to do and so I listened to it. My eyes started to fill with tears but none of them dropped. I don't know why what he said hit me. It took a stab to my insecurities. I felt embarrassed and wanted to hide my body and cover every inch of myself. I didn't feel comfortable in the dress the first I time I came out but after everyone's compliments I felt safer but after Jungkook's, I didn't feel safe anymore. I don't know why his opinion mattered than the majority.