CRYSTAL HEART (MaleXMale)

Chapter 29

ERIC MAXWELL

All night I cannot take any sleep because this evening event. Why is it so hard when I decided to give up? Why now he shows the sincerity? When my heart already numb to the pain. When I was losing a courage to take another risk. It is too late to reverse the situation.

I have made a mistake by mentioning his late husband. I could see how broken he was at the mention it. The hurting flashed clearly in his eyes before he turned away. It was my fault inflicting him with uncalled memories. I rubbed a salt on his bleeding heart. The heart that not fully yet heals. His body was slightly shaking when he admittedly the power and money have no power to save his late husband.

When he mentioned about to end his life, I couldn't find any word to comfort him. The word itself caused me to tremble in fear. What if he really did it? What if he can't take this parting well? It is dangerous not just for my heart but also my mind. It shocked me when seeing the most strong and powerful man defeated in the name of love. It's also the first time I saw his other side. The vulnerable self he tries to hide from public eyes.

After pondering the matters all night, the result still nowhere found. I need a little more time. To analyze from all aspects and bet on all possibilities of each choice. Meeting him again had softened my resolved. Throwing me into chaos mind. His sincerity slowly entering my mind. This is not the Russel I'd known. The man I have been together for almost two years.

This new side of him scared me the most. Who has caused it? It is me, right? A mild headache hit me due lacked of sleeping. But no matter what I do, I still can't sleep. The night felt so long. Long enough to clog my already heavy heart.

The man still suffering the heavy blow after losing his past love. However, he dared to take a new bet to restart his life. Once again to open his heart. Walking in the path of the love. What if he bet failed? He would suffer the greatest pain again. Not just him but that would leave a great impact in my life too.

Would I able to stand again? I think no. I have no strength to arise anymore. Everything will end if this bet failed. No more a man called Eric Maxwell living in this world. I would descend to another world. The idea scared me more than any other possibility. Love alone not enough to survive in this world.

I think the fastest way to resolve this by facing him again. Honestly, I have no way to face him now. I will quickly sweep to his side when looking into his eyes. He is a smooth talker, a crucial ability to any businessman. One word from him while makes eye contact enough to sweep me off from my resolve. Thus, the idea also cannot be used. His tongue is better than any lawyer out there or therapists.

We have shared the same bedroom, the same bed and a blanket for almost two years. Aside that, I was also his ex-secretary. The amount enough to let me know more or less about him. I found his resolved and that scared me than I already was.

This evening he did not talk in a roundabout but rather in straight word. His word also not in the level of Shakespeare or any sweet poem. He only gives me a promise of happiness, love and a chance to amend his mistake. It seems really plain. However, the promise and word enough to shake my calmness.

Fear coursed my whole being, as I do not know which part to take. Either to concede or fight on. Because of the great pressure unable to be resolved in the shortest time, I'd chosen to leave. I lied to the doctor. Lying on them, about Russel and I have agreed to transfer to another hospital. They believed my word and released me without contacting Russel.

They knew a busiest businessman like Russel can't stay still at the same place for a long time. Wait a second, who have managed the company after he taken the long leave? Maxim? I think that is the one person he can put all trust. There a lot things still mystery about Russel. Hiding well under his indifferent mask.