no homo . jachary

54

Day 106

Zach

The boy was sat on a poor excuse for a mattress, some springs were broken, there were no sheets to protect him, and it was hard and uncomfortable. It was more like a brick than a place to sleep. Zach would think the floor is more comfortable, but he was afraid of bugs. He had to stay here for the rest of the day, and see Jack tomorrow. It was the cheapest motel he could find in New York that was closest to his (as he would hope) future lover. Jack coming out to him could've possibly been the day his hope rose by the most it ever did before.

Zach still couldn't understand what about him had him so infatuated. From his dark honey eyes, bouncy curls, tan skin, small barely noticeable freckles, gorgeous smile, incredible personality, what could it be?

He had to find something to do — and this shitty place he was stuck in absolutely wouldn't be able to entertain him. Text Jack maybe? No. Zach found himself extremely clingy and he hated that. There would be one nice person and suddenly the brunette would hold onto them and never let go. Of course, that is until they decide to not just let him go, but throw him off. Zach was trying to avoid this happening as much as possible with Jack. He had few friends left, he couldn't tell Jack that though, he'd be seen as pathetic.

The walls in that place were paper thin. You could hear every creak in the worn out floor boards being made, every word being spoken from the rooms beside him. It was horrible. But he did enjoy being able to listen to music more, without Jonah telling him off in public for doing so. It wasn't his fault he couldn't talk to people.

Talking was such a strenuous task. Having to physically think of what to say, and do it in a short amount of time while looking confident. Earphones are basically a signal to other people saying 'don't talk to me'. Zach couldn't be more thankful. It was so strange, as he used to be able to talk to everyone. When he was ten or so — it was effortless. You want a friend? Go up to someone, ask for their name, if they want to be your friend, and you could have your best friend for life. That's what you thought at the time. After 'adolescence' hits everyone, everything is different. Now, to make a friend it matters how you look, how you talk, how smart you are, your interests, how you dress, your popularity level, race, sexuality, religion, and more. It fucking sucked.

Zach laid down on his rock hard bed and wondered how his thoughts trailed off so much. A hand went through his unwashed hair as he sighed. There were no showers here either, meaning he's going to smell like shit when he meets Jack. He couldn't have that.

The teen got up, tied his shoes, threw a jacket on, and checked the dusty faded mirror. Even through the shitty piece of glass, you could still see how unhealthy he looked. His dark eye bags, which weren't as bad as they used to be, were still prominent. His sunken in cheeks from lack of food, showing his cheekbones more. He liked the look of it, even though he knew it wasn't healthy. He would've eaten more at Jonah's, but that's rude to eat all of someone else's food. Besides, he was already taking his house, bed, and privacy. He couldn't take his food too. Zach's messy hair was strewn in all different directions so he to spit into his hand, to fix the mistakes. Finally feeling decent enough to leave the room, he swung the door open, not caring to close it.

Music blasting in his ears to avoid others, Zach stepped out of the motel to start walking down the streets of New York. It's so strange, as the motel can disguise itself as looking like everything else in the city, then when you see the inside, it looks like shit — it almost reminded him of himself. Nobody even questioned the sixteen year old as he walked down the streets, as he looked like every other confused teenager looking for a new start. The urge to text Jack again was too much, so that's what he did.