American Dream?

I Guess This Is Goodbye

The next few days Jason came round and helped me sort out my things into: Keep, Donate and Throw away. I found things in my room I didn’t even knew I owned. We had a great time. My clothes were a nightmare to sort; I had too much of it and I love all of it.

Mum had to help me as well. Everything I found I wanted to keep; there was a story behind everything. Even my baby clothes and toys were hard to part with even though they will never fit me again and I don’t even play with the toys. In the end I managed to refine it down to two large suitcases and ten large cardboard boxes. This may sound like a lot, but you’ve never seen my room, it’s huge, and so crammed with stuff you can’t open a single cupboard without causing an avalanche.

The day finally came for me to leave; the moving van was outside, my mum and Serena packing it up with all the boxes and taking the big suitcases out to the taxi which will take us to the airport.

I stood in what used to be my room. I have always lived here, my whole life I have never been anywhere else and now I was going to another country on the other side of the world. It made me want to vomit. As I was taking down the last few posters of bands from my wall I heard someone clear their throat.

I spun round to see Jason at the door carrying my hand luggage.

“Ready?” He said softly.

“No.”

He dropped my stuff onto the floor, walked up to me and wrapped his hands around my waist. I could feel his warm breathe down my neck. “Jason, I don’t want to leave you.” I leaned back into him.

“I’ll call you everyday, text you every minute. I’ll Skype you every time your online, Facebook you. And in the holiday’s I’ll go over there to see you, you know I have to money to. I’ll always be there for you.” His voice soothed me; his breath on my neck calming my nerves.

His lips brushed my neck slightly, I shivered. “I’m going to miss you so much.” I whisper.

“I’ll miss you too. More than I have ever missed anyone else, but I’ll never forget you. Never.” He began to plant feather light kisses down my neck and jaw line. Then he kissed me on the lips.

“ALEX! ARE YOU COMING, OR NOT?! WE NEED TO LEAVE, MUM’S GETTING IMPATIENT!” Serena yelled at me from downstairs. Jason pulled away form me.

“Come on, you need to go.”

I looked for the last time at my room, it looked sad. The posters were gone, the light bulb and lamp shade removed to reveal an ugly white socket. All the shelves empty, no bed, no rug, no table. The only thing I left behind from my life in this room was the pink walls, which seemed dull and pale in the empty room. It looked abandoned; like no one had live there in years. I fought back tears as I remembered the past eighteen, every time I came into this room. The good times and the bad times. I turned my head, closed the door and snuggled up to Jason.

“You’re still coming with us, right?” I looked up at him; I tried to sound strong but my voice cracked on ‘right’ and I sounded like a lost child.

He grinned at me. “Of course, where else would I be.”

----

In the taxi, Jason and I talked. We talked about everything and anything, trying to make the most of it. It would be a while until we talked face-to-face again. Every time I kissed Jason in the back of the taxi I was aware that Serena, who was sat next to me, and mum, sat in the front seat, were watching and cooing at what a ‘great couple me and Jason make.’

I leaned into Jason’s shoulder, taking in his smell; memorising it. I tried to memorise his face, his eyes, lips, nose, hair, body; everything. I didn’t want to forget him.

Out the rear window of the car I could see the airport, a gleaming white building, with windows that reflected the sky so flawlessly it looked like the sky was inside the building. I could see the planes lined up in an orderly fashion and the watch tower standing proudly to the side.

I felt sick again. What was I doing? I can’t go? What will happen to Jason? Can we do a long distance relationship?

I could feel Jason tighten his grip around me when he saw the airport. I felt guilty about leaving him. I considered Nick and Chelsea, I had seem them in the Park after Jason came round to my house a few days ago and told them I was going. Chelsea cried and embraced me and Nick gave me a bear hug. They both promised they would call and text me all the time and that they will always remember me.

As the taxi parked, my heart sank, this was it; I’m leaving England and going to America. Jason offered to pay for the taxi because he needed it later to get back home. He helped mum with the large suitcases and Serena with her bags. I smiled as I saw how he had impacted are family.

He walked with mum and Serena to the glass revolving door of the airport. I managed to get my suitcase out of the boot of the taxi and get it on the floor. I wheeled it behind me. I looked up to see Jason, mum and Serena waiting at the door: my family.

I smiled as Jason called to me. “You’re going to be late for you flight if you don’t hurry up!”

As I walked onto the zebra-crossing, my vision went blurry. I still had no idea what was happening. Pink and black dots danced round my eyes, I could barely see my family. I stopped in my tracks when, for the first time, I could hear every work that the voice in my head was saying, “she’s doing well, it could happen soon.” It was a man’s voice, as clear as crystal. I didn’t recognise to voice, was it just my head? It sounded read? And what did it mean ‘it could happen soon’?

“ALEX!” Jason shouted at me. I still couldn’t see him well but I could tell his voice.

“ALEX! ALEX! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!” That was Serena, I was still blinded.

I could hear my mum crying and screaming.

What was going on?!

I looked to my side to see a white lorry barrelling down the road at about eighty miles-per-hour. I could see the number plate, but the dots in my vision made it hard to see the driver.

That’s when the lorry hit me.