For a long time
I sat in the dark.
Just stared into the nothingness. Forced, by all my problems.
They made me sit down on the ground in one dark room with no windows or doors. They just leaved me with one rope.
It's was like a dream thrown in the shadows. It was blurry thoughts and ideas. My heart pumped but I didn't feel alive. I was a zombie. Didn't feel anything, didn't eat anything and didn't care about anything.
I sat there, looked at my body. Looked inside my soul.
And my mind was filled with disappointment. The only thing I actually wanted, was death.
So I hang up the rope.
And when my body was flying in the middle of the room, on a normal evening, I felt happy. At least for a while.
My problems wasn't even generous enough to give me one good rope.
This rope didn't work.
So I got down on the ground, hid the rope from the world and continued living.
Living, but still sitting in the dark.
But not a long time ago, I heard a knock on one wall. Carefully I walked to the wall and knocked back on it. One knock was heard again.
Maybe one small smile was growing on my face? I think so.
So everyday after that, I heard one knock on the same wall, on the same place. And everytime, I smiled while I knocked back.
The room was still dark and my thoughts were still there, not leaving me for any second.
But after a while I heard the knocks clearer. And clearer. And clearer, for every day that went by.
One day I heard a loud noise from the wall. And I saw to my confusion that it had fell apart. A head stuck out through the hole that this person just made.
Was that a boy? Yes, it was a boy.
The dark ran away when the light came into the room through the hole. Into my room.
But it didn't run far, it stayed in every corner of the room.
It has been three months sense the wall fell apart.
And everytime I hug this person, the light becomes lighter and the dark is nowhere to be seen. It's like all my problems are at another planet, like they don't even exist anymore. I can almost cry, just thinking about it.
But as soon as he leaves early in the morning and we both said our lasts goodbyes, I can actually see how the dark is coming, swallowing my whole body. It's like they rebuild the wall already and made it thicker and stronger than before.
I hear them trying to offer me another rope, they promise that this one is better, it's stronger. It will work this time.
They practically beg me that I should take the rope in my hand. To just hang it up. To just try. One more time.
And I have no idea how I will make it until the next time I can be with this person again. The problems sighs.
'Okay, we give up. No rope, for now. But just take this razor blade.
And as long as you keep it, we will leave.'
