Stories from a Crazy Sub (or 10.000 ways to piss off your loving Dom)

9. How am I not dead yet?

I am a very clumsy person... I am clumsy to a point where even YA heroines would ask me to be careful.

When I'm tell people that I "walked into a door" I actually walked into the damn door. I have done it a couple of times at work and it never stops being embarrassing...
I almost have permanent bruises on my upper arms from doorhandles.

...

Once I managed to have a solo accident where I tipped over the van I was driving.
It was winter and I was driving a little too fast coming up to a red light. When I tried to brake, the van did slow down a bit. Then it did a 180 turn and tipped over on the passenger side.
There I was just hanging in my seatbelt and the first thing going through my head was:
"I need to turn off the radio!"
The next thing was:
"Why is that man shouting at me? I didn't even hit his car!"
He was trying to find out if I was okay...
Then I had to:
- Get out of the seatbelt.
- Climb up from the passenger side through the driver side door.
- Jump down to the ground.
- Call Master to tell him that I was okay, but the van needed help.
- Call work. Because I was in no fit state to come in.
- Get a lift home from kind strangers
And finally cry for 30 minuets under my covers because I had been scared...

Luckily the van could be pushed upright again and just needed a paint job and a new side mirror. And I only got some bruises and a lesson in how not to drive in snow.
Later that day Master forced me out to drive on a snowy parking lot so I wouldn't get scared later when driving in snow...

...

I have also been so klutzy, that I broke a pice off a bone in my ankle, sprained it badly and twisted nerves, tendons and ligaments just getting out of my car.
Boy was that fun when I tried to ignore the pain and walk on it for four hours trying to work.
Then drive myself 40 minuets to the doctor who said that I had to go get an x-ray.
Then drive myself 40 minuets to the emergency room. Wait for four hours, get it wrapped and drive myself home 40 minuets away...
I was out from work for seven weeks...

...

And then there was "the perfect storm of clumsy"

We had invited my Baby Sister and her husband over for dinner.
While the food was cooking, I was chatting with my sister and Junior was playing around while the hubbies were outside.

When I wanted to go check on the food, I stepped on the hem of my dress. Trying to regain my balance I stepped to the side, tripping over the bouncy cow Junior was playing with and fell head first into the iron radiator...

That's the last thing I remember...

The next time I was lucid I found myself on the couch and my sister was saying goodbye. That was six hours later.

Apparently I had bounced back up, finished making dinner and convinced them that all was well.

It wasn't...

I had a concussion that kept me home for two weeks...

...

So is it really a wonder that I sometimes am amazed that I'm still alive?

The End
June 25. 2018