Supernatural One-Shots // Imagines // Drabbles

#5 Breaking The Habit (Sam x Reader)

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: Reader struggles with addiction.

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You stared down at the little bottle in your hands, wondering how you let it come to this. How you let yourself come so far off the rails that you relied on these little white pills just to get you out of bed in the morning. How you let these pills control your life so much, your relationship with the man you loved so dearly was in jeopardy.

You sighed and looked up in the mirror, cringing at what you saw. You even looked different.

You had lost weight, the drugs not making you very hungry, your cheekbones showing evidence of that. You had dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep and you were dizzy, your eyes going in and out of focus at times. Overall, you looked and felt like shit, and it was all thanks to the orange bottle in your hands- or rather- what was inside it.

But you were withdrawing. Bad. You were shaking and sweating, your anxiety skyrocketing. You tried so hard to stop, you knew it was terrible, but you couldn't.

You opened the bottle, the little pop sound something that gave you comfort, which scared you more than you'd know.

You dumped a few pills of Fentanyl into your hand and placed them on the sink, closing the bottle and using it to crush the pills into a fine powder.

You stuffed the bottle into your pocket and shook out your hands, the tremors coming in waves. You pulled a dollar from your back pocket and rolled it, using it to snort the powder into your nose. It burned a bit as you inhaled, and you had to resist the urge to sneeze, but you knew the relief would come soon.

And it did. You sighed in relief as the drug started working, your body beginning to relax and you dwelled in the euphoric feeling it brought.

You closed your eyes for a moment, the guilt buried underneath the drug for the time being. You knew you shouldn't be doing this, but the moment you stepped out of that hospital all those months ago, you knew you wouldn't be able to go without the pills.

It wasn't the doctor's or the nurses' fault. Hell, you didn't even know you'd end up being addicted to the crap. They warned you that it could happen, but you brushed it off. You never thought you'd end up here, the remains of four and a half crushed pills sitting on the bathroom sink, your whole body feeling like it was floating on cloud nine.

You took a deep breath and brushed the last of the powder off the counter before heading out into the hall. You wiped your nose with the back of your hand to make sure no dust was noticeable and headed to your room, wanting - and needing- some sleep.

"Hey, Y/N/N," Sam said behind you. You jumped a bit and your eyes blew wide. You were high and in no shape to talk with your boyfriend. He never had noticed before, the few times you'd end up high around him. But you also were just coming out of withdrawal and knew it wouldn't be a great time to talk. Your words would probably slur and your eyes would be bloodshot. Not to mention the fact you were still shaking a bit. You freaking looked like a junkie.

"Hey," You muttered. You turned around to face him, keeping your head down and avoiding his eyes.

"I haven't seen you all day," He said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You crossed your arms. Sam narrowed his eyes, watching as you shifted your weight from foot to foot. Your eyes were blown wide and staring at a spot on the floor, your body shaking slightly.

"What happened to you?" He asked. You shrugged and looked up at him finally.

"I don't know what you're talking about," You said simply. "But I'm gonna take a nap. I'll see you later."