Bundeslihaha: Where Fussball Meets Fun

A New Hope Denied

Summary: Two classics meet in a tale of Light and Dark – or should I say, yellow and red? (Posted 4.11.14)

(Crack AU, based on the most recent Klassiker. An extremely belated birthday gift for my friend Talicor :D)

*spreads confetti* WOOOOT! BAYERN WON THE KLASSIKER 2-1! AWESOME JOB, CONGRATULATIONS!

...er... *waves hand* you never saw or heard this. The author is malfunctioning at the moment. Move along.

And Tali! I'm so terribly sorry for the overdue (and very soccery) gift, Milord! If you don't accept this little fic, please let this be mine - my birthday was just yesterday, haha! xD

10.6.18: I really write too much Der Klassiker. It's so boring. Not even a real classic. I don't even know the Eredivisie, but I'd rather watch De Klassieker nowadays. Or even El Plastico between Hoffenheim and Leipzig! Why are people Bayern/BVB fans again? Is boredom a kink? I'm sorry, I don't quite understand.

Also: NO OFFENSE, Y'ALL. I'm just joking.

12.8.18: I've been busy with exams and FNAF haha I'm not sorry at all! Cringe culture is dead, baby!

***

Borussia Dortmund was the embodiment of Light.

Standing tall and powerful, he was blessed with a sword fighting skill little could match – one he perfected himself, I might add – called gegenpressing, taken from the old Allemand word for 'counterattack'.

Not to mention his physique – the beautiful climate of his home planet, Estfalia, bestowed him fair, almost golden hair he liked to keep messy in order to match his charming smile, high cheekbones and a perfect body, but the most striking feature in him was his eyes. Contrasting greatly with his pale skin, his eyes were the color of the most potent caf, a mark of the endless passion inside him.

Despite all his fire, though, Borussia had a kind heart – it beat with unconditional love and a thirst for peace.

But every beacon of light had a Darkness to balance it – such was the way of the Force.

This being of hatred had been born innocent. Naive, even. She'd been the apple of her loving guardian's eyes – her parents had been executed for reasons undisclosed, long before the war – a bright child who saw the good in everything and everyone... especially her graceful teacher Miss Löwe. Years passed, and the little girl was now a young woman devoting herself for her homeworld... a world aligned with the revolution movement. A world torn apart by the Jedi. And with great skills and the Force inside her, she rose up through the ranks quickly...

But not quick enough. The Liberation of Bavaria, as the attack was called in Republic history books, killed her foster family.

And she felt alone.

So alone.

Until Miss Löwe came to her guardians' funeral.

And she told her a secret: She was a Sith, a Force user, and she saw her potential. "I will train you, my child," Löwe cooed, rubbing calming circles on her back as she stared at the strangers burying her family's ashes, "and the Jedi will be no more. Our home will be free for our loved ones. And for eternity."

And she was dubbed Bayern München – meaning one who dies for Bavaria.

But she didn't die with her planet. It never did.

She brought it into the spotlight, instead. After years of training, she exposed her master for being the war's mastermind and had her "executed", gaining fame and sympathy from all parties involved.