Summary: Arsenal Football Club laments his bad luck (again)
Double update (with the next chapter), because I missed you all! Enjoy <3 (Posted 8.3.17)
10.6.18: I know nothing about English football. Does that stop me from writing this chapter? No! Read at your own risk!
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Arsenal can't believe he lost to that German bastard with the same scoreline thrice in a row.
Not to mention it was the biggest aggregate loss for any English club - it's not a record he wanted to break, to say the least. To say the most: that arrogant bitch had better lose the next round, preferably 'helped' by those wankers calling themselves referees. I hope she gets Real or Barca, that always worked in the Guardiola era! It'd be fucking sweet.
...
Who am I kidding, the Londoner grumbles inwardly, knowing the ref's calls hadn't been that dubious, this whole club is a mess...
And I'm an utter mess. He eyes the half-drunk beer in his hand and tries to feel through the haziness - it fucking burns and his nose is still runny and his jacket and scarves don't help at all, it feels like someone's been sucking his soul liter by liter or whatever the fuck you measure energy with.
Maybe, he thinks, eyelids drooping, I sold my soul to the devil when we became the Invincibles... maybe I sold Arsene's soul, too. That would've sucked - no, he corrects himself, that sucks. Present goddamn tense. Because we've legit stagnated.
Head pounding at the memory of the millionth fan protest in front of Ashburton Grove, he lets the plastic glass fall from his hand, spilling beer all over his jacket.
Guess all his probs lead to Wenger, huh.
What would he be without his beloved coach, though? Arsenal, Arseneal, the lines have blurred long ago-
Ah, fuck it, Arsenal huffs, closing his eyes without a care for his beer-soaked clothes, his fever, or the smell of his own sweat, I'm too drunk to be philosophical anyway.
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Even drunk, forgetting that he always was too something to be philosophical seemed awfully convenient.
Who knows? Perhaps all this suffering has become Arsenal's comfort zone.
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About this amazing(ly predictable) fixture... it's ironic how on International Women's Day, all I see is memes about how Bayern 'raped' Arsenal (who's always portrayed as a weak/hypersexualized woman)... disgusting.
Anyway, see you next time (or on other websites!)
P.S.: You know what comes after this, don't you? Yes! The linear arc you've been waiting for, "The Reveal", will start next chapter! Whoo! Who's excited? I certainly am!
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10.6.18: Fandoms dominated by cishet men are always the worst. Exhibit A: Football. See above.
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