Bundeslihaha: Where Fussball Meets Fun

Matchday 11 Special

Starring Dortmund and Köln with Bayern and RB Leipzig as side characters (sort of)... maybe I'll make a proper chapter for them sometime, but that time isn't now as it's 3:41 AM xD (Posted 20.11.16, edited 29.5.17.)

ID: Digital art of Bundeslihaha's Dortmund, a pale blond guy and Köln, a fair-skinned guy with long red hair that covers his face. Dortmund is wearing a black earring and a long-sleeved T-shirt with the sleeves rolled to just below the elbow. Köln is wearing a white short-sleeved T-shirt with red collars. Köln is sitting on Dortmund's lap. They're embracing each other while they kiss with their eyes closed. The background is a purplish red. In the middle is a watermark that says "freibulous", the name of the artist (me), and the date "21.11.16". End ID.

***

Westfalenstadion, Dortmund

November 19, 2016

"We won!" Borussia Dortmund cried, snaking his arm around his best friend's torso as they made their way out of his home, "We won, Effzeh!"

1. FC Köln broke into a wide smile before doing the same. "Congrats," the Cologne native said warmly, "your boys were awesome!"

"I know, right?" Dortmund laughed, raising his recently-refilled beer glass to the air with his free hand, "And you! Derbysieger! That was fucking epic, man!"

"I aim to please, Schatzi," Köln winked, pointing finger guns at the personification of the home team.

Dortmund not-so-gently elbowed him on the side. "Shut up!"

As soon as they were out of the Signal Iduna Park's parking lot, Köln realized something...

"...the look on Neuer's face was priceless! Effzeh? Köln? Are you listening?"

"Oh! Um, I..." Köln paused. "Yesterday, on the derby..."

"Yeah?"

"We were on the bench together, right? And then we celebrated with the team," the Rhine club continued, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, yeah, that was fun!" Dortmund said cheerfully, "I can't believe none of them said anything! I mean, I don't even look like any of your coaching staff!"

"Well, um –''

The blonde puts his index finger on Köln's mouth. "Zzzt! I'd love to do it again one day. Going undercover makes me feel so badass!"

Köln looked up at his friend, jaw dropped. "You're not mad at me?"

"Heh?" Dortmund raised an eyebrow, so high it reminded him of Carlo Ancelotti, "Why should I be mad?"

"Y'know," he mumbled, "for making you watch from the stands with me. And... I wasn't even close to the Yellow Wall..." He trailed off. Damn, he'd been so unfair... should've bought tickets earlier... why hadn't he gotten himself a season ticket anyway?! He'd made a promise to himself to do so since the start of their friendship, for fuck's sake!

"Oh..." Die Schwarzgelben chuckled. "That."

Köln nodded.

"If I say I had absolutely no problem with that, are you gonna be offended?"

Köln's jaw dropped.

"Dude, I'm serious! Relax!" Dortmund replied, bending down to his eye level, "It's not the Revierderby! And besides, you get to stay the night at my house. This weekend's gonna rock. I can already feel it."

Köln's red eyes met his dark ones, wide and hopeful. "You mean it?"

The older club nodded. "I mean it. We can even cuddle and stuff on my bed if you want to."