Hot and Cold

Twenty-two

"Let's break up"

Para akong binuhusan ng isang balde ng malamig na tubig. I felt paralyzed as I stared at him with my pleading eyes. He just stood there, eyes with no trace of emotion. Voice as cold as ice.

"B-bibi-bear..."

I tried to hold his arms but he shoot me daggers. My hand halted mid-air. Gusto ko syang hawakan pero parang nandidiri sya sa akin. My world crashed as he swat my hands away from him.

"Stay fucking away from me Snow"

Snow... What happened to Ayumi? he used to call me Ayumi. Anong nangyari?

"Fiero please"

I did what I need to do. I held his hands kahit pa pilit nyang inaagaw ito sa pagkakahawak ko. I can see no emotion on his eyes. I held his hand tighter, afraid of letting go at baka tuluyan na syang mawala sa akin.

"Bibi-bear please. Wag namang ganito oh!"

I am pleading. Nagmamakaawa na ako sa kanya, nagmamakaawang wag nyang bitawan ang kamay ko. Nagmamakaawang wag syang tumalikod at umalis. I am pleading.

"Let me go" he stated with his cold voice that sent shivers to my spine. "Melody's waiting for me Snow. Let me go"

I felt something inside me has broken into millions of pieces. Nanghina ako hanggang sa tuluyan kong nabitawan ang pagkakahawak sa kamay nya. Nanghina ako hanggang sa di kinaya ng paa ko't napaluhod ako.

"Bibi-bear..." bulong ko. I am on my knees as I stared at the ground. My tears are continually flowing na para bang wala ng ibang paraan kundi ang lumuha para maibsan ang sakit na nadarama ko. But I earned the courage to look up and look at him. He was just standing there, looking at me like I am the most pathetic girl he ever seen. Maybe I am. "Akala ko ba mahal mo ako? Akala ko ba ako ang mundo mo? Anong nangyari bibi-bear? Anong nangyari..."

"I don't love you" He's words are like poison that slowly succumb my dying heart. Unti-unting namamatay ang puso ko, at wala man lang akong ibang magawa kundi ang hayaan ito. Nakatitig lang sya sa akin, walang bahid ng kung anong pagsisisi sa mga mata nya. He stared at me for a few more seconds bago ako tinalikuran. "I never did."

And as if on cue, the rain dropped washing all the tears on my face, but the pain remained.