The Hidden Truth

18.

I simply want to take back what's mine.

I tried processing the information I just received when I finally did.

A bubble of anger washed over me whatever fear I felt before was long gone.

How dare he come back here and claim me to be his?

My nostrils flared with anger as I dropped my bag still keeping a protective stand on my baby.

I poked him on his chest something I never thought I'd be able to do.

"How dare you come back here and claim me to be yours"? I gritted out. "You don't get to come back here and take a claim on me" I jabbed my finger into his chest.

The pains I endured since childhood til my teenage years and finally the horrible things he did to me for an unknown reason that up to date I have idea of came bubbling up. I was beyond angry.

I am ready to fight I can't be that girl that people look down on, I can't be that girl that did things to please people even if deep down am hurting.

I am never ever going to let him manipulate me and hurt me again,even worse hurt my child.

He was quiet staring at me with an amused face.

Never in his dreams I would retaliate yes? Well news flash I am never going to be scared of him and anyone ever again.

"If you think for one second I will come back to you, well you are wrong".

"I am never ever coming back to you". With that I slammed the door in his face.

I let out a shaky breath trying to calm my nerves. A tear rolled down my cheek as I slide against the door holding my baby tight.

I am never running away again ever!

...............

"What? He came back?  That bastard how dare he"? Ken paced back and forth in the living room clenching and unclenching his fists.

"I am fine really Ken, besides I stood him up am sure he won't dream of coming back ever again".

He let out a sigh sitting down on one of the couch. "I know, it's just that I don't want you to ever get hurt again Lan".

"I am never going to let people look down on my Ken not now not ever".

He gave me a small smile running his fingers through his hair. "I don't like the idea of you staying here again,what if he comes back"?

Again with this. "Ken really I can handle myself, we will be fine I promise".

"I know but.. " he trailed off releasing a sigh.

"Just please be careful Lan" he whispered softly low I almost missed it.

...............

I stood up from the bed heading into the kitchen. The moon was reflecting inside the kitchen as it created a soft glow to it. I sat down on the kitchen counter staring at the dark view.

The sound of the ticking clock filled my ears. I inhaled deeply feeling a wave of calmness flowing through my whole body.

Time like gives me lots and lots of time to think alone. I can't say I am not grateful and I can't say I am grateful. It's a mixed feeling.

I heaved a sigh resting well on the counter. My life hasn't been great Per-se but I couldn't be more grateful.

"Momma "? My baby's voice brought me out of my reviever. I stare at her silhouette in the dim light. I get tired get off the counter switching the light back on.

"Hey baby"?. She rushed towards me holding my legs.

"I couldn't see you in the room, and I got scared".

"I am sorry, I came to get water and decided to rest for a while, are you? Are you having a bad dream"? She shook her head mumbling a small "no".

We moved over to the couch she sat on my laps resting her head on chest. "Momma"? She called out softly.

"Yes baby"?

"I am sorry" she said, sorry for what? Why is she sorry?.

"For having a friend that you don't like". I felt my heart clench uncomfortably. Oh my! She is clearly oblivious to what is happening.

Am I a bad parent for stopping her to talk to someone she likes and clearly that person is her dad?.

I kissed her hair "Baby, you did nothing wrong, if anything at all I should be the one apologizing. I am sorry" I kissed her forehead again.

I am sorry but you can't see him again.