Fall Off The Grid (adopted by twenty one pilots)

//twenty three - hey man, i love you, but no fucking way//

Lane's POV

The car pulled into a long driveway, leading up to a large house that I recognized through countless interviews and videos Panic! put up. It was weird that I knew so much about these people without ever actually having met them before I was adopted. I hardly knew Brendon, but I knew his house like it was mine. 

Every band member grabbed their bags and made their way to the front door, now opened and blocked by two happily barking dogs, begging for attention. We all smiled as we walked in, dropping the luggage near the front of the living room. I followed the crowd into the living room, placing myself carefully in a corner as everyone else started taking up the couches. I pulled my knees into my chest and started thinking. I don't really know about what, everything I guess, like having to live a semi-normal life with two loving parents now and going back to school, living without Alex to help me do it and having to change for everyone else, not just myself anymore. But mostly, I don't know what kind of thoughts were filling my brain, I guess I wasn't paying attention to them. 

My cheek sat carefully on top of one of my knees, my head tilted slightly as my eyes traced the patterns in the floor boards. I felt arms pick me up and wrap my own arms around someone's neck, but honestly I didn't even fully register that it was happening so I sat limp in their arms as I was carried down a long hallway and into a bedroom. They sat me down on the bed and for a couple seconds, it was like the nights of my father, carrying me into whatever room he pleased as I hung limply before trying to fill some kind of void he had, thinking ruining someone's innocence would help himself in some way. As I hit the comforter, I flinched and backed away before finally paying attention to who it was that carried me. Tyler's surprised and concerned eyes met mine and I settled down again, bringing my hands to my eyes, rubbing them gently and exhaling, before looking back at him.

"Sorry, it was just a weird flashback feeling for a second" I answered tiredly. He nodded, grabbing my hand and running his thumb over the back of it before he asked me the question I was hoping he wouldn't. "Was it your dad?" I just nodded and held in the tears of all the nights I'll never be able to forget completely. He wrapped his hands around my head and kissed my forehead as I snuggled into his chest. It then hit me that a couple minutes ago, we were in the living room and now we were in a room with the door closed and a worried look etched into his face. "What's wrong Dad?" I asked quietly, pulling away from him and searching his eyes. He inhaled shakily before replying. 

"You just seemed off, sad, something other then the happy self you've been on tour. And maybe you're tired, but I'm just scared Lane." I nodded and  moved back into his arms, trying to ignore the world surrounding me, drowning me. "I have to live now, Dad. I have two parents, no friends, and a whole bunch of unknowns that I don't think I'm ready for. It's like my life was a boat that has met a storm, turning upside down and my head is underwater." I felt him sigh and lay his chin on top of my head. "Do you think my mom would be happy that I'm here? Happy I didn't jump that night, that I ran away? Or would she be angry I didn't just end it already, that I let the love of her life go just because I was selfish?" Tyler's hand wrapped around my face and tilted my chin so I had to look at him. 

"Your mother would be so proud of you, your mother would be beaming that you are here right now, alive and happier then ever and away from all of that pain." I felt the tears escaping. "Your mother wants you here, Lane." His thumb lightly traced under my eyes as I shakily breathed out and let the words sink in. "I have a letter," I choked out, "that was sitting in her car the night she died. I assumed it was for when I graduated high school, but the more I think about, the more I know it wasn't that." Tyler hugged me again before looking me in the eyes and smiling slightly. "Read the letter Lane." I nodded and walked quietly into the living room, getting the wrinkled paper from my bag and looking into the room where Pete and Patrick watched me carefully, Jenna and Josh giving me a small and sympathetic smile, Brendon and Sarah understanding what was happening but still looking worried. "I'm going to be fine," I said in an almost whisper to all of them before walking back down the hall, letter in my shaking hand.