//one - saying goodbye//

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Laney's POV

I had finally had enough. This was the fifth fight I had with my father today. We were never close, but the death of a wife and mother can really put a wedge in a relationship. She was the only thing I ever had and wanted to have in common with that man.

I still felt the burn of his hand on my cheek as I threw my most prized possessions in a patch-covered, black Jansport bag. A few band shirts, a hoodie, a notebook with a pencil attached, my headphones, and my phone. Nothing mattered much to me anymore. I began to grab my things from the bathroom before realizing what I really wanted to do.

I wasn't planning on needing anything to stay overnight somewhere.

I threw on the army green jacket that hung on my door as it tugged against my arms and sent pain down my body. I'd forgotten my relapse this morning.

I finally went to leave the room, but then turned back and grabbed my truly most prized object, the letter my mom wrote me for when I graduated high school. I'd never read it, but they found it littered in her car; it was all I had left of her.

I bolted down the stairs, running past the man that made my life a living hell.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" His voice boomed through the empty house. It never felt like a home anymore.

"I'm leaving, you made this place nothing to me. We're better off apart. Go ahead and die here, alone and drunk," I yelled in response, turning back to his approaching form. I was angry, he drove me from the last place I ever had with her.

He grabbed my wrist, pulling me down to the floor as he kicked me hard in the stomach. My whole body felt the hit as I saw blood run from my sleeve in slight droplets.

"She'd be so disappointed in you. She already was, you were never anything to either of us." His slurring words echoed through my head as I pulled myself from the floor and darted to the door, slamming it shut. I ran, faster and faster, down the street until I finally felt like I was far enough away. All I could do was fall to the ground, crying as sobs escaped my lips. I left everything behind, but I still wasn't safe. I had nothing but myself, and that is not company I wanted.

---character introduction---

My name is Laney Madison Roberts. I'm 16 years old, and all I've ever been is crazy. Some call it mentally ill, but I prefer to put it simply.

I was severely obsessive compulsive and anxious as a kid, the OCD simmering out but anxiety taking full force by age 8. At 13, I became situationally depressed, it becoming seasonal then clinical by freshman year. Self harm and suicidal intent, sophomore year. Pure hell, this year.

All I can ever do it mess up, be a burden, be nothing. I had friends, I had my mom, I had a future and goals within it, but people don't realize that sometimes, it isn't enough.

I remember waking up to the house phone blaring through the empty halls of my home. I startled myself from my bed as I reached over to grab my line from the table. That's when I heard everything, my whole world crumble into the air.

My mother died in a car crash earlier that night. The car was totaled, and she was gone. When they went through the car, they found my letter and divorce papers. She wanted to leave my dad. I knew they were never happy, but she never wanted to go through the work of separating. But, I guess she finally got tired of it.

After that, I went to online school. I left my room hardly ever and never talked to anyone unless absolutely necessary. My dad needed an outlet for his anger, so he hit me, screamed at me, and sometimes, try to act as if I was only there to pleasure what my mom left. He'd force himself on me, but I'd stopped trying to stop it. I was small and weak for 16. It had only been in the past month or so.

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