Dangerous Curves

Chapter 17

Susan's POV

'Why are you breaking up with me?' I ask him. My fear is turning to reality, please help. He is hell bent on leaving me. Why doesn't he understand that I love him?

I was mentally running a list of all the bad feelings he made me feel and all the ways that he stressed my heart and soul out every day, but at the end I would discard them all and focus on how much I love him. Deep inside a voice asked me, how can you love a man that makes you feel so bad inside? Is that really love or is he after your body?

'I just don't feel it's working between us Susan' What?

'What do you mean? We spent such a good time yesterday..please don't leave me?' What's wrong with him? He seemed happy yesterday and all of a sudden he wants to end the relationship? How am I supposed to live without him? I started my day by talking to him, I texted him throughout the day and at night we spoke for hours..how can he end everything? Is it that easy for him?

'I know, but I've been wanting to tell you this for some days now, I feel if i don't do it now I never will. ' My stomach churns even more at his revelation. For some days?

'Then don't do it Brad...please don't leave me...I love you..' I start picking at a thread on the hem of my skirt, but everything is blurry again, I can't stop my tears from flowing. Part of me knows that this time, it's there's no way of him coming back. He's really done with me.

'Look Susan, for the past half hour I am trying to make you understand that I don't want to be with you anymore. And now, I've gone past my patience, get it through your thick skull- I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE.' he spits at the other end but it feels like he has pierced a steel knife in my heart. Hot tears spill from my eyes.

'Brad, I offered you the most precious thing I had..we made love, you're my fir-'

'Oh so I have to be with you because I am the first guy you had sex with?' He lets out a chuckle. 'We're in 21st century. And besides, don't make it sound like you did me a favor, you wanted to sex as much as I wanted to. Stop being a selfish bitch.' A bitch. I feel nauseous. More twisting of the knife. I feel defeated. Maybe he called me a bitch only because he was angry..

'Why are you calling me selfish, Brad? I love you, I don't want to lose you.. I didn't mean it in a bad way, I'm sorry...' Please stay, please don't leave...

'Because you fucking are. You want everything nice for yourself, but you won't make an effort for others. Look at yourself and look at me. I haven't seen you lose a pound since we've started off. I don't want to be with someone who will grow to the size of a fucking elephant.' The real problem is my size..he's ashamed of me.

'What's gotten into you?'My voice in barely audible. Another fear turning into reality. I'm too fat for him. 'You said you liked the way i was...now you're telling me I should lose weight...do you not like me the way I am?' Please say that you still like me...

'Susan, I liked you at first and I thought you'd be motivated to lose some weight, but you have not and it bothers me. No I am done will all this shit, I have things to do and I'd like to go. And no, I don't want anything to do with you and I don't want to stay friends with you, I hope you can respect my decision. Take care.' Click.

He hung up on me. I call him again. Is he really done with me? IS that it? Is that how it all ends? The whole world shatters on me when he declines my next calls. I feel like all the happiness and hopes I had for this relationship has been sucked out. My heart is still pounding and my mind cannot digest that everything is really over, or maybe doesn't want to.

I sit there stunned, wanting to take back the last few minutes and say something different, do something different, but deep down I know, all that matters for him are looks. I felt it in the past-when he wouldn't hold my hands in public. Those were the days when I pretended it didn't bother me and that everything was fine, but now I know-he didn't want to be seen with me in public because he was ashamed of me. He was muscular and I was fat.

I feel worthless. What will I tell my mother? She already knows I am dating him, she will be so mad...you talked to her Brad...I helplessly call him over and over again until he answers later, at the umpteenth call.

'What?' he snaps and my heart breaks into more pieces.

'Please don't leave me Brad...' I plead again, wiping the tears away, hoping he'd take me back. I don't care about my self esteem right now, all I want is him. I need him back. I love him.

'I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU SUSAN. STOP CALLING ME. I SWEAR IF YOU CALL ME ONE MORE TIME I'M CALLING THE COPS ON YOU FOR HARASSMENT.' Click.
Calling the cops on me...I'm in so much pain here, I am crying my lungs out, so much that my eyes are burning. I don't think I can take this pain anymore. I feel like I am dying on the inside.

He was more than a boyfriend to me. Right now it feels like he took everything from me-he took my soul. This is the curse to love..at any given moment the person you'd kill for could wake up and not even love you anymore. It's sad how someone can go from the reason you wake up smiling to the reason you cry yourself to sleep every night

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I know you all are waiting to know what happens between Philip and Susan, but I wanted to post this chapter here so you guys know how insecure Susan feels of herself and why she feels so. There's a second chapter on Susan's past (Brad) that will be coming over in the next few days...

Thank you all so much for your comments and votes. I am so happy that it has reached a 11.5 K reads. I'M SO HAPPY <3 THANK YOU A LOT LOVELY PEOPLE