Anger Issues

forty eight

Jessica

I leaned back, closing my eyes. Austin hadn't said anything. I couldn't hold it in, anymore. I didn't want to explode like that, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry," Austin said. "I didn't think of it that way," he added. I sniffed, wiping my eyes. "Take me home, Austin. Please," I begged. "Can we at least just go.." he cut himself off. "Okay," he said.

He pulled to a stop in front of my house, saying nothing. I quietly said goodbye, getting a nod in response.

Leaving his car, he drove off quickly. I made my way in, wanting to do nothing but go to sleep. "Perfect timing, dinner is almost ready," Mom said. I shook my head, speaking softly. "I'm not hungry."

I went to my room and locked the door, collapsing on my bed and closing my eyes.

I woke up in the middle of the night by loud yelling from downstairs. My parents, again.

I tried blocking out the noise, until I heard Noah's voice, too.

I made my way downstairs, seeing Mom, Dad, and Noah in the kitchen. I could easily see that Dad was drunk. I could smell it, too.

"What's wrong?" I asked, grabbing their attention. They all suddenly went quiet. "Nothing, Jessica. Go back upstairs," Mom said.

Dad stumbled past me, making his way towards the basement. "Dad," Noah went after him. I turned to Mom, who shook her head.

"What happened?" I asked. "Nothing. Go to sleep," she immediately told me. I went back upstairs, but didn't go to sleep. I took off my makeup from earlier, and waited to hear Noah go back to his room.

Once I heard his door shut across the hall, I quietly went downstairs. I snuck past Mom, and went to the basement.

"Dad," I softly called. He was laying on the couch, like he had been the last few days.

I waited for a response, but I didn't get one. When I walked closer to him, I saw him fast asleep.

I turned on my heel, going back upstairs. I stopped by Mom's room, slowly going in.

"Mom," I called. "What, Jessica?" She asked. By her harsh tone, I was immediately getting the vibe to go away.

I stopped for a few seconds. "Do you need anything?" I asked. "No, it's fine," she said. Her back was turned to me the entire time. She hadn't looked at me.

I quietly left, going to my room. Laying down, I found myself wide awake.

I was so stressed out, about everything. Things that don't usually stress me out began stressing me out, and I hated it.

I promised myself I wouldn't, but I gave in. Locking my door, I walked towards the wall, before lifting up a picture frame. The pen that Austin got for me fell into my hand. I hadn't used it since he gave it to me, it was still full.

I turned it on, and took in a large breath of it. Blowing it out, I was immediately feeling relieved.

The taste of the smoke still lingered in my mouth, and I admit, I missed it. I missed it so much.

I inhaled another breath as I walked back towards my bed, grabbing my phone. Getting lost in multiple apps and videos, I ended up finishing the small pod that actually lasted me quite some time.

I was super tired, but stayed up a little bit anyway. I continued scrolling through various feeds, laughing at almost everything that I saw.

Finding myself extremely hungry was the only time I realized how high I really was. I felt like I could eat a boat if it were possible.

I stood up, immediately smiling. My head was spinning like crazy, but in an enjoyable way. Not in a sickening way.

I'm gonna float away, I thought, making myself laugh.

I realized that if I went downstairs, I would probably cause a ruckus and wake someone up, so I laid back down, and shut my eyes. Before I knew it, I was out.