A Drop in the Ocean

It's All A Lie

Ashton's POV:

My eyes closed and my breathe hitched as I brought the blade up to my throat. There was a knock at the door that made me jump and drop the blade, "Ashton, are you okay? You've been in there for a while."

"I-uh yeah I'm fine," I answered with a shaky voice.

"Can you unlock the door, please?" He pleaded, my eyes widened. I quickly picked the blade and his it in my back pocket, Lavana was kicking up a storm with the sudden movement.

I opened the door slowly, trying to hide my wrist behind my back. As soon as Luke saw me I saw a flash of concern in his eyes, "Oh Ash," he said, pulling my into his embrace. It took all I had not to break down crying again, I'm just so glad to have him, I don't know what I was thinking before. He caught me out of my daze, I would have done it if he wasn't here, I would have killed myself and my baby, it would have killed Luke inside and I couldn't do that to him.

We held each other like that for what seems like forever, it took a weight off my shoulders knowing that I had someone going through this with me. My arms around his neck and his wrapped tightly around my waist, my bump in between us.

We pulled apart and he took my hands in his, I became uneasy, I didn't have enough time to cover my wrists so my open cuts are in plain sight. Luke turned my left wrist over, staring down at my bleeding cuts, he looked back up with tears clouding his blue eyes.

"Why?" He asked, I shook my head, not meeting his eyes, I hated seeing him so hurt. He placed his hands on either side of my face so I was looking him directly in the eyes.

"Why'd you do it, you told me you stopped! Did you think about my the baby, me? Ash, it hurts me when you do that to yourself, I don't know what I would do if you died." I swallowed hard hearing that last few words, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to keep myself from crying. He let his hands fall from my face, he pushed past me and went into the bathroom, looking around frantically.

"Where is it? Where the hell did you put it?!" I flinched at the harshness in his voice. He came so close, our noses were practically touching, I tried backing up more but I was already pushed up against the wall.

"Where. Is. It." He said, more demanding, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the blade, handing it to him. He yanked it out of my hand, "Luke I'm so-"

He scoffed, "You're sorry. I've heard that already, it's all a lie. If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it," he was pacing, turning the blade over in his hand. "I can't believe I was so naive, you only think about yourself. Did you ever think about how it effects me when you do that to yourself?!"

"Luke you don't understand!" I cried, "I was depressed, I didn't know how to deal with it, cutting makes me feel numb, it takes away the pain. I regret it! I regret it every time! I think of you, Lavana, the boys, my family, I want to stop but I cant!"

I was full on crying again, Luke looked at me with guilt and pity in his eyes, he tried hugging me but I just pushed him off.

"Babe I'm so sorry, I just- I was so just afraid for you, I don't know what came over me," He pleaded, "I'm just glad that I have you and Lavana, I love you both so much," I looked up and smiled at him, "I'm glad I have you too," I put my head against his chest and listened to his heart beat, he wrapped me in his arms.

I heard the front door open and Calum and Michael talking downstairs.

"I guess we should get you cleaned up and unpack the stuff from downstairs." I let out a shaky sigh, "Okay."

-

I started looking through the comments again, but Luke took my phone out of my hands and set it on the table. He got on top of me, being careful of my bump, "Don't worry about that right now, let's do something to get your mind off of it." I giggled and crashed my lips into his. We were in a full blown make-out, Luke began unzipping his pants, without separating his lips from mine.

-

Sorry I can't write smut :/

(Unedited)