A Drop in the Ocean

It's not that simple

Ashton's POV:

It's been 4 hours, both Luke and Calum are still nowhere to be found. I know it's a lot for Calum to take but it still upsets me, I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stay here if Calum is gonna be this way, and Luke. Luke and I still haven't been on good terms, not any terms for that matter. I'm so worried about him, he's hardly ever home, he's always out late and doesn't come back until hours later. Who knows what he could be doing.

Luke's POV:

"Can I buy you a drink?" I look over and see a girl sit next to me. I'm too drunk to really make out what she looks like but at this point I don't care. I shake my head.

"No I better go." I try to get up but she grabs my thigh and leans over crashing her lips into mine. I don't pull away for a couple seconds but then I think about Ashton and what happened the last time I was this drunk. I pull away quickly.

"What is your problem?! Do you just make out with every stranger you see?"

"Just cute ones like you." she leans in again but this time I get up stumbling a little bit. She looks at me confused and I just rush out of the bar, I'm too drunk to drive so I call the only person I can think of right now, Ashton. After a few rings he picks up.

"Luke? Where are you? Are you okay?"
He asks all at once sounding worried.

I sigh, "I'm fine but just a little uh, drunk. I can barely walk in a straight line let alone drive, can you maybe come and pick me up?"

"Of course. Where are you?" I give him the directions and we hang up.

Ashton's POV:

As soon as I hung up I got out of bed and pulled on shirt, rushing out the door to my car. When I got to the bar I saw Luke leaning against the brick wall with blood shot eyes, he was either crying or just really drunk. I parked and got out running to him.

"I'm so sorry, Ashton. I screwed up again." he starts crying and I wrap my arms around him, being careful of my bump.

"Luke, it's okay. I'm not mad. Lets just go home, okay." he nods wiping the tears from his eyes. I help him to the car, I then get in and drive away. Luke fell asleep on the ride back to the flat. I would have carried him inside but I obviously couldn't so I had to wake him up.

I made sure that he was in bed asleep before I went back to my room. That was the most Luke and I have spoken for the past few months. I was glad that he called me, at least now I know he's okay.

-

I woke up to the sound of dry heaving from across the hall. I got up and walked up to the door, I knocked.

"Luke are you okay?" I didn't get a response so I turned the knob and to my surprise it wasn't locked. I kneeled down next to him and rubbed his back. When he was done I stood up about to leave.

"Wait. Thank you, for what you did last night. I don't really remember what happened but, thank you."

"It was no problem. Thank you for calling me and not trying to drive home drunk." We say there in silence for a few moments before he spoke again.

"I know we haven't talked in a while, it was my fault and I'm sorry. Can we just forget about what happened and be friends again, like we used to be." I wanted to say that things won't be the same again and that I can't forget about what happened. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I didn't. I didn't know what to say.

"I want things to go back to the way they were too, but it's not that simple."

"Yes it is. We can just forget about what happened that night. We were drunk, it didn't mean anything." For some reason his words hurt me.

"Okay." I said it so simply. I didn't have anything else to say. He got up off the ground and looked down at me. I could see he wanted to hug me or say something more but he just walked out, leaving me standing there alone. Even if it wasn't carrying his baby, I know that we will never be the same again after what happened.

His words still lingered in my head "We were drunk, it didn't mean anything." Is that really what he thinks, that it meant nothing? He probably wouldn't even care about this baby, or me. I don't know if I'm keeping it yet, but if I do, I'm not going to raise it here, with him. I know Michael would understand why I left and maybe one day so would Calum. I know Calum came back last night, but he probably doesn't want to talk to me. I wouldn't want to talk me.

I went into the bathroom, locking the door. I searched under the cabinet until I found what a was looking for. I did something I haven't done in a long time. I cut again.

-

I'm so sorry I haven't updated lately! I have just had a lot going on and I couldn't find the time to write. It's really short but I'll try to make the next chapter longer.