A Drop in the Ocean

Pretend like it never happened

Ashton's POV:

I stayed awake all night worrying about Luke. He was only going to be in jail for a night but now that I have him I can't go more than a couple hours without him, but it gave me time to think about everything. About the baby, Luke, the band. I knew Luke wanted this baby so bad, I know she would have a better life without us, but do I really know that for sure? We can support her financially but we just don't have the time to raise the baby, correction, we didn't have the time to raise a baby with that band. After what happened yesterday, I'm pretty sure we don't have a contract anymore. I wasn't going to work for that prick after what he said.

Luke's POV:

I've only been here for a few hours and it's already hell! I miss Ashton like crazy, I wasn't thinking when I punched Adam in the face. I was selfish and I wasn't thinking about how this would affect Ashton and the band. It broke my hurt into a million pieces seeing Ashton cry like that, I made him cry. He's carrying my child and all I seem to do is make him cry. No wonder he doesn't want to raise this baby with me, he has every right not to, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt me. I hate not having a say in anything about the baby, he never asked if I wanted to keep her, he knows I want her but he still is giving her up for adoption. It is his choice I mean, he's the one that has to go through all of the mood swings, morning sickness, weight gain, everything. That just makes me love him even more knowing that he would go through that. He knows more about what's best for our daughter, I can't get anything right, no matter what I say or what I do it always ends up hurting someone else and I don't want to hurt Ashton ever again. I'll do anything for him, even if that means signing away my rights to our baby.

Ashton's POV:

Nine o'clock finally came, Michael, Calum and I piled into the rental car and drove to the jailhouse. After signing the release forms and paying the bail fee, I was allowed to see Luke. He was walked through the doors, wearing the same cloths as yesterday. I practically tackled him in a hug, in that moment I wasn't angry, but only in that moment. When we pulled away I slapped him hard in the face. He cried out and held his cheek.

"That's for getting arrested for assault!" Michael stepped in between us, holding me back from slapping him again. "Your such a fucking idiot, what were you thinking?!" I was about to lunge at him again but Calum held me back, a cop came running over.

"Do I need to lock the both of you up?!" I shook my head, glaring at Luke before storming out to the car. I don't know what came over me, I was just so afraid for him and he doesn't even realize that what he did didn't just affect him, it affected me too.

They came out to the car, Calum sat in the back seat with me and Luke sat in the passenger seat next to Michael. No one spoke for the whole car ride back to the hotel, when we got back to our room it was just me and Luke again, Calum and Michael went into their room to pack since were leaving to go back home today.

I sat down on the couch and sighed, Luke sat next to me.

"I'm really sorry for slapping you, I didn't mean it, I was just so scared that you would be put in jail for a long time and I wouldn't get to see you."

"No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have punched Adam in the face, I wasn't thinking straight. I love you so much Ashton and I didn't want to hurt you. You deserve so much more than me, I ruined your life by getting you pregnant. I can see why you don't want to raise the baby with me, I'm such a screw up." He started tearing up, I pulled him into my chest and let him cry into my shoulder.

"Luke you didn't ruin my life and your not a screw up. I want to raise this baby with you but we're just too young, I don't want you to have to give up your life to be with me and play house. We can find a nice family for her and then just pretend like it never happened." He pulled away.

"We can't just pretend like it never happened! Just like you said, it's not that simple."

"Why can't you just move on from this?! We aren't keeping this baby and it would be a lot easier if we just forget that this ever happened!"

"Fine."

"What?"

"When we get back home we can contact an adoption agency. If you want to pretend like this never happened then go ahead but I don't think I can do that." I was surprised how he just gave up like that, but I know that it's not really what he wants, I can see it in his eyes. I want to keep her just as much as he does but I just... can't. We sat there in silence for a few more minutes before he got up and went in the bedroom slamming the door.

Luke's POV:

I went into the bedroom we shared and slammed the door, locking it. I just didn't want to look at him right now.

To get my mind off of everything I started packing all of our stuff to leave. When I finished putting our clothes into suit cases, I moved on to the bathroom gathering up everything to put in the suit cases along with our clothes. While packing a came across a blade in Ashton's bag, it wasn't your normal blade for razors. No, it can't be what I think it is, Ashton stopped a long time ago. I rushed out of the bathroom angrily and into the living room. Ashton was sitting on the couch starring at the blank screen on the Tv. I stepped in front of it and held up the blade. His eyes widened.

"You better have a good explanation for why you have this!"

"It-it's for my razor." He stuttered.

"Let me see your wrist." I demanded. He shook his head. "Let me see your wrist." I repeated, this time more harsh. I went over and pulled up his sleeve, there were cuts all up his arm, some scared over and some still pink. He stared at me with tear filled eyes. "Luke I'm so sorry." I shook my head. "I don't want to hear it! I can't believe you would do something like that! Your fucking pregnant, do you know what that can do to the baby?! Oh that's right you don't care!" I yelled in his face probably a little louder than I intended but I was just so angry and shocked. Calum and Michael came running in.

"What's with all the yelling?!" Calum asked but when he saw me holding Ashton's wrist he rushed over and pushed me off.

"Did you know about this?!" I asked.

He nodded. Michael looked between me and Luke then down at Ashton obviously confused.

"Why do they always know everything before I do?! They knew about you being pregnant before me and now this! What else are you hiding, huh?!"

"Luke just calm down." Michael said putting his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off and ran out of the room, I just had to get away. I heard them calling my name but I just kept running.

Ashton's POV:

I didn't want Luke to find out like this. He never even gave me the chance to explain, he just ran off like he always does. Calum and Michael tried to get him to come back but I told them to let him go, one thing I know about Luke is that he wants to be alone when he's mad.

"Our plane leaves in 4 hours!" Michael yells pacing the room. "We have to find him."

"Just give him some time, Michael. He'll be back." Calum tries to reassure him. Michael lets out a frustrated groan. "You know what he does when he runs off like that! I'm going to go find him... You just stay here with Ashton." And with that Michael rushes out the door to find Luke. Calum sighs and sits next to me.

"We'll find him. He may be mad right now but he'll get over it because he loves you. You know that right?" I nod and slightly smile.

"There's that adorable smile I haven't seen in ages." I punch him in the shoulder and we both laugh. He always knows how to make me feel better.

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I know there's been a lot of drama in the last few chapters but I promise I'll try not to have so much in the next chapter!