~Together~ (Carl Grimes x Reader) *UNDER EDIT*

chapter 27: Hatred

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

~dream~

My eyes fluttered open to meet with darkness 'did i wake up in the middle of the night?' i asked myslef 'no...it's way to dark for that, this must be a dream then' i concluded "hello?" i called out but was only met with my own echo "is anyone there?" i asked but no response. I looked down at my own body only to meet a warm light emitting me, no clothes but the light was so birght that it covered my private parts. There was no ground beneath my feet so i was floating, my head whipped round as i heard some whispers coming from my right "do not be afraid" a voice called out "w-what's going on?" i asked slightly afraid "you're heart rate slowed down while you were asleep, this is your mind trying to get it to speed back up the only way it knows how...by scaring you" the voice replied "well i'm scared so can i wake up now?" i asked "in due time" the voice replied "who are you? that is what you are thinking correct?" the voice asked "y-yes" i replied, the voice chuckled "i'm not surprised you don't remember me, it had been years since we have spoken my dear child" the voice said in a parently tone "d-dad?" i asked "that's my girl, so smart" he said. The tears streamed down my face but for the first time not out of sadness "i miss you" i mumbled "i miss you too my brave little soldier, you have been stronger than even me" i shook my head "no i haven't i've been a coward" i admitted "and how do you figure that?" he asked "i keep on breaking down and cryin in front of eveyone, that's ot being strong" "the fact that you're brave enough to cry in front of people akes you strong, your physical strngth has nothing to do with this, you are strong because you know what it's like to be weak"  i listened to his comforting words and nodded in understanding "i love you" " i love you too soldier" and that was the last thing he said before i woke up.

~dream end~

I opened my eyes and smiled as i recalled the dream i just had 'i will be strong for you papa' i told myself in my head, i turned my head to the side to see a sleping Carl. I got out of bed slowly so as not to wake up the sleeping boy, i tip-toed out of the room and shut the door "hey (Y/N)" Beth greeted "hi" i replied moving to the living room "what's up everyone?" i asked, they were all nervous again, i sighed "i know about Sophia so you can relax"  i looked around and noticed everybody relax "hey where's Hershel, Rick and Shane?" i asked "they went out, there was some trouble and Herhsel dissappeared so Rick and Shane went after him" Lori explained "ok" i shrugged "where's Carl?" she asked "he's still sleeping" i reassured her.

~timeskip to a couple hours later because Author can't remember what happened in between this point~

It had been hours since Rick, Shane and Hershel left and we were all worried exspecially Lori "i'm going to look for them" she told me rushing to get a gun "what! You can't go it's too dangerous! Plus you have a baby to worry about now!" i whisper-yelled "i have too!" she yelled back "no you dont just stay! You need to have more faith in them!" i replied "i do, but i am a wife and a mother i ned the father of my children to come back!" and with that she climbed in the car and drove off. i ran afer her for a little bit but she was long gone. I groaned and marched back to the farm with an angry look on my face 'she snuck out i can;t believe her, i will have a good talking to her when she gets back' i yelled in my head 'oh my god...i sound like a mother' i also thought. i shook my head of the thoughts and ran the rest of the way. Once i geot back i plopped down on the sofa and huffed with my arms crossed over my chest, Carl walked in and sat next to me "what's wrong?" he asked "your mothe-...nothing" i cut myslef off, i doubt he would take it well if i told him Lori ledt as well "what about mom?" he asked getting worried.

I got a little nervous "like i said nothing is wrong stop worrying" i lied smoothly but he still didn't believe me "(Y/N), i am serious where is my mother?" he asked, i sighed knowing i would never get through to him "s-she...went after Rick" i replied trailing off at the end "she what?!" he yelled standing up "calm down, have faith in your parents they'll make it through this" i replied "how did you know she left anyway?" he asked "she told me" i replied "so you were there when she left? Why didn't you stop her?" he asked "i tried but i can't run as fast as a car!" i snapped "you obviously didn't try hard enough!" he retorted "don't ttake this out on me! This is not my fault! Blame your mother for leaving without anything other than a gun and a car!" i stood up as well getting angrier by the minute "dn't talk about my mother that way!" he snapped "don't talk to me that way!" i replied "you wouldn't know anyway,  your mother died before things got this serious! You have no idea how i'm feeling!" he snapped at me, my jaw dropped but my shocked look was replaced with an infuriated look, i lifted my hand up and brought it down on his cheek in a slap, Carl's head turned i the other direction from the impact, i scowled at him before storming off to the back of the house hwere i knew i could be alone.

I sat under the tree and started vilently tearing out the grass the angry thoughts still going through my head "how could he say that to me?!" i yelled at the grass, i heard a rustling in the bushes and a walker emerged i was about to get up and fight but all my courage and my will up and fled, so i just sat there waiting to become part of something else. Blood spattered as someone landed a kinfe in the side of the walker's head, it was so close that it's whole body fell across my lap, another second and i would of meen minced meat. I pushed it off me angrily and shoved it as far away as i could "what were you thinking?! Giving your life up like that! Are you crazy?! If i hadn't of come then you would've died!" the voice i knew oh so well yelled "exactly i would've died, what's the problem? My whole family is dead, everyone seems to hate me no matter what i do...what's the point anymore, my dad was wrong i'm no soldier i'm nothing but a coward an object of hatred" i replied not so enthusiastically "is that what you reall think?" Carl asked calming down and sitting down in front of me "isn't that what life is now?" i asked back "no..i-it's hard but nobody here hates you" he replied, i laughed dryly "Andrea hates me, Shane is beginning to hate me and soon you will hate me too i don;t see the point in building relationships anymore" i replied.

Carl stared at me in shock "i can't believe you think i would hate you" he muttered "you're beginning to hate me aren't you? We've been having arguements pretty often, i mean i slapped you" i replied "yeah but you had reason too i shouldn't of said what i said" he told me softly scooting closer to grab my hands "but you said it, you know they say as well as drunk people those who are angry speak the truth" i whispered "i was being an idiot!" he yelled "i'm sorry but please don't give up, if my parents don't come back and i lost you as well, i don't see tha point of going on myself" he told me his eyes glossy with tears "you mean eerything to me, please don't go, i can't stand being apart from you especially the world as it is now" he cried the tears brimming in his eyes finally tipped over the edge and made there way down his slightly freckled cheeks, i lifted my thumb to wipe them away "i promsied didn't i?" i asked "yeah" he replied with a smile "we both promised" he continued. I rested my head on his and we waited because we needed to, that is what we have to do now...wait.