Time Waits For No One (A Freddie Mercury Fanfiction)

Is This The Real Life...?

"What!" you shouted throughout the pub, much louder than you should have, but it was completely called for, "What do you mean, I'm dead? I mean—I feel-I feel alive...I think?"

Great now you were just as freaked as Brian was last night, but this time, likely even more so. What did he even mean!? Could you be actually dead? You felt alive, you felt your body, you could breathe. What did he mean dead?

"No you're not dead here," he tried to calm you, "You're very much alive here...at least I think," he answered, your mind was absolutely racing.

"But how—why?" you replied, running your fingers through your hair and then attempting to stabilize yourself but you felt extremely overcome with emotion though you couldn't wrap your head around it.

"Y/n," he said calmly, "Just logically speaking, of course...," he sighed, "if you traveled back to the past and altered it, you shouldn't be able to remember that it was supposed to be another way," he grabbed the paper and gently placed his finger on your timeline and traced it as he spoke, "You see, your timeline ended here in 2017," he tapped on it, "If you really were to travel back in time everything you did would have an effect on present you. Your ability to remember a different present—er, well—past, means that your timeline in the future had to have stopped...and there's only one logical way that can, well.." he trailed off.

Tears began to well in your eyes and instantly your face flew into your hands. Who knows what the people around the pub must be thinking, either way, it didn't matter, nothing mattered...it seemed obvious you'd never be getting home. Somehow you just had it in your mind that everything was fine, and even if you weren't thinking about it quite particularly, there was at least a hope you'd be able to return home. The thought hadn't fully occurred to you that you didn't have a home—yes when you'd split with Freddie for that short period of time and lived with Jer it had, but not in this way. You always thought you'd be able to just be whisked back to where you left off in the future...maybe it was the fantasies of books, music, and tv shows that made that possibility seem all to real. It's also hard to know you're falsely hoping when the thought never crossed your mind to hope at all.

Brian came around the booth to sit with you. You just couldn't stop the tears from silently flowing, your head was down and Brian just tried to sort of comfort you.

"...so you're saying that I'll never see my mother again, my father, my home, my friends, my life?" you said brokenly as you looked up at him. It was consuming you. Then you stared out the window and pressed your lips together, looking down, "Do they even know what happened to me?" It was all just crashing in. Brian didn't exactly know what to say, he just sighed and had his hand on your shoulder.

"It's going to be okay y/n," he said calmly, sighing. You turned around to him tears in your eyes.

"How could it possibly be okay Brian? If you're right—and I'm sure you're right, you're Brian fucking May, of course you're right—that means I can never go home," you cried, "What's the fucking point, god!"

"Y/n," he said calmly, but you just sank into your hands.

"I might as well go and fucking die," you said, muffled by the sleeves of your jacket. You were just overcome with such sheer intensity of emotions you had no idea how to handle it. People were beginning to stare but Brian kindly feigned them off. It was just all too much.

"Don't talk like that," he said gently, "You've got a life here, don't you?"

"Yeah," you lifted your head up, in tears, "but look at it, I've fucked up Freddie's life, yours and Roger's I'm sure, and I don't even know half of what it is I've done yet. And I'm dead Brian—I'm fucking dead!" you cried, you're sure the bystanders who might at this point be still listening thought you were an absolute mess, "I can't even kill myself here," you became hysterical, "I'm dead and I can't kill myself. How about that!? It doesn't matter whether I live or die anymore, I've just completely ruined all of your lives!"