a happy kind of blue

00:23

you say i am too young
too young to be a feminist
too young to know my own sexuality
too young to be depressed
too young to hate
too young to protest
too young to be an activist

too young

too stupid

too naive

and you are right
i am too young

too young to be scared of bullets ricocheting through my school, embedding themselves into my fellow classmates and having to watch as the life from my best friends once bright and hopeful eyes flickers out, knowing i will never be able to apologies for that stupid fight we were having, knowing i will never be able to laugh, smile, or talk with her again, knowing i will never be able to hug her again, knowing i will never be able to tell her i love her one last time
too young to be scared of being raped by a man while i walk down the street in my school uniform because i can feel his eyes watching me and i should have waited for someone to walk with me, i should have waited for jacky to have finished her test so we could walk together because now if something happens to me it's my fault but i just wanted to go home to get ahead on schoolwork
too young to be scared of finding my friend dead in a sticky pool of her own crimson blood because slitting her wrists and watching the blood flow was better than living or finding her body cold and lifeless on the bathroom floor with candy colored pills scattered around her and stuffed down her throat because she'd rather go out in a loopy daze than try to withstand and fight the torment and i couldn't make it in time to stop her
too young to be scared of seeing a familiar face on the news because jordan was black and looked older than his actual age and the white middle aged cop shot in "self defense" even though jordan was unarmed and innocent or because elias was muslim and was carrying a "suspiscous" bag and was shot and later died because the police officers thought he was a "terrorist" when elias just wanted to get home to his mom and little sister with a jewelry box to give them, which now sits in peices on the concrete floor
too young to be scared of finding my lgbt friends killled, abandoned, or sent off to a conversion camp because all they wanted was love and acceptance but instead they found hate and rejection because they were "disgusting sinners" who were just "confused" and katy is finally back from camp but she doesn't even remember my damn name
too young to be sobbing with such lose and grief over people so dear to me who were killed and died too young because no one would help them because all of their cries were "fake" because they were too young to know "real" pain
too young to be scarred, bruised, bloody and beaten by a war i did not start or choose to fight in

you say i am too young
and you are not wrong
i am too young
too young for
H O M O P H O B I A
R A C I S M
S E X I S M
R A P E
S E L F   H A R M
S U I C I D E
G U N   V I O L E N C E
and
S C H O O L   S H O O T I N G S
to be normal to me
i should not be so desensitized by this violent reality

so yes, i am too young
but you cannot blame me
for my hyper awareness of our reality
my generation was born with information at our fingertips
and we have been told to sit still and be quiet
because the adults were talking
but you had your chance
it is now our turn to speak
and our turn to fight
because our rage is pure fire
and with every ragged breath we take
our lungs get more shredded by all of the hate and misery
that is ingrained so deeply in our society
you say we are "too sensitive"
because we are "hormonal teenagers who cannot control our emotions"
and therefore we "cannot have opinions"
but you can no longer invalidate our claims as we yell for change
because the DEATH of our classmates
and the BLOOD of our friends
has paved the path for this revolution
your generation may have won battles
but my generation will be the one to win the war
my generation will be the one to instill change and bring peace
because we grew up in a hating world spiraling into darkness and death
and dying was never our biggest fear
watching the world burn around us was expected
but we fully intend to repair the damage you all have so carelessly done
>>we are generation z
and we will be the ones to rise from the ashes<<

3/31/18
started: 2:31 a.m.
finished: 3:49 a.m.