Poems For Daniel

Thirty-Six + Epilogue

It was the end of the summer before I made my way to the cemetery. Jeremiah drove me there and excitedly got out of the car with a bouquet of flowers. I sighed. "I don't know how I let you talk me into this," I shook my head as he grabbed my free hand. We made our way into the grass and walked and walked and walked, headstones making the path for us.. We found the grave we were looking for. My heart raced as I read the name. Daniel Dwayne Simmons III. I felt tears getting ready to spill as I stared. Jeremiah placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'll talk first, if you want." I nodded as we sat down. Jeremiah placed the flowers near the headstone as I held my steel box close. "I'm Jeremiah, Safaree's friend, and I wish I could've met you. I guess it's never too late... Now, Safaree is very special to me, and I know she was special to you too. And, you were sooo special to her. Trust me, she spent a whole year stressin' about you," Jeremiah spoke. "J," I hit his arm, making him chuckle. "Go wait in the car," I ordered. "I was just playing, Safaree," his jaw dropped. "I don't care; in the car, you go to wait now," I repeated. He kissed his teeth before getting up and walking away.

I took a deep breath before placing the box I had in front of me, on the grass. "You always wrote me stuff, and little did you know, I did the same. It was in a journal. That journal you always tried to take but got too weak to.. I never really thought of giving it to you, but I feel obligated to do so now. It took a lot to get me here, and Jeremiah had to drag me... All you asked of me was to accept the next special guy in my life along with his flaws. I've done it, but I was so hung up on you and the thought of us, I made him feel like second best. You told me to treat him like I do you, and I haven't always done that... Now, we're apart, and I miss him still.. He's really special to me, Daniel, and I know that all you ever wanted was for me to be happy. I'm not happy without him. We're cool, and he's honestly my best friend, but I want to be romantically involved again. I want start over with him. I want to be in his arms again... I've felt love with you, and I ended up losing you. I can't lose him too," I admitted. I was silent for several moments after that...

"I love you, Daniel..." I quietly spoke as tears began surfacing. "It took me so fucking long to find you, and when I do, you're dead.. Jeremiah told me you were, but I was too dumb to realize it. I was too dumb to remember that you died. And, I was so dumb that I got hit by a car while writing a poem... I can't even find that poem," I laughed a little. I was quiet again, sucking up my tears and sighing. "Those are all the poems, Daniel. I hope you like 'em," I said, placing the box right in front of the head stone and placing the bouquet Jeremiah brought on top. "You've always got a special place in my heart, D," I added while beginning to twiddle my fingers. "You remember that one time we were talking about our childhoods, and you told me about that embarrassing thing you told me never to speak of... And, you had to sing 'You are my sunshine'," I giggled. "I sung it with you to make you feel better... That was the day before the last day. The day before you gave me the key, remember?" "Safaree! It's getting hot, Man!" Jeremiah called. "I'll be right there!" I told him. "See you later, Daniel. I love you," I smiled slightly while getting up. I jogged all the way toward Jeremiah's Jeep and got into the passenger seat. "Glad I dragged you here?" he smiled smugly. I nodded. "Good," he took my hand into his. "Now, where do you want to go eat? I was thinking..." Jeremiah's voice trailed off as I gazed out the window. I closed my eyes, recalling that day that I brought up while talking to Daniel.

I remember sitting in that chair by his bed... We were both laughing about something he was talking about. He was talking about... God, what was he talking abo-- Oh, yeah! He was recalling how he had to sing in the kindergarten play. The song was "You are my sunshine." He was blushing and concealing his face with his hand a bit. "Aw, Man. That is so embarrassing. I don't want to talk about it," he said while shaking his head. "Come on, Daniel. It is not that bad," I told him. "Nope, I don't want to talk about it," he repeated before looking away from me. I giggled while slowly standing from my seat. I slowly moved closer toward him and began singing. "You are my sunshine. My only sunshine." "Safaree, come on--." "You make me happyyy when skies are gray," I grinned as I touched his face, acting more passionate about my singing. He fought back a smile while deciding to join me. "You'll never know, Dear, how much I love you.. Please don't take my sunshine away," we both finished. He gazed into my eyes as I giggled while sitting back down...