Lights Of His City || Jungkook x Reader

EIGHTEEN

I opened the door to my apartment and he followed me inside.

"It's small" He looked around.

"It's better than most places i've lived in though. Please take a seat. I'll get you a coffee" I motioned towards the only couch that my apartment had and he sat down, still looking around.

"April..." As I tried to walk towards the kitchen, he held my hand and made me sit near him. He pushed back my hair and looked into my eyes for quite some time, cupping my face. "Why didn't you listen to me?" He asked, his breath hot on my cheeks. If I could just cross that distance of a few inches between us, my lips would meet his. 

"I-I freaked out, I'm sorry..." 

"You have changed so much," 

"You're right, I have changed. It's just the things around me, my circumstances, that won't change. I am so..." before i could complete the sentence his lips pressed against mine, and he stayed just like that, without deepening the kiss or anything. 

Keep holding me like that, please. Don't ever let go of me. I will fall apart if you stopped . Love me, hate me, whatever... just let me be the one by your side. 

But he pulled away, although it was as if he didn't want to. But he did anyway. 

"I'll... I'll go get you some coffee" I stood up, before he could see the tears forming in my eyes. 

"April" He said, holding my hand again.

"Yes?"

"If... you ever feel like you can't live here anymore, if all of this is too much for you, you can tell me. I'll... "

I scanned his face. He looked almost apologetic, trying to avoid my eyes. I didn't know what to say to him. Yes, it was indeed too much for me but... for him I could take twice as much.

"Are you married?" I finally asked without thinking.

"I told you earlier, i am not and I don't know what keeps you giving that impression"

I nodded and entered the kitchen, humming lightly. I would trust him. I wanted to. Maybe if i just tried a little more, things would settle between us. Maybe he would forgive me. I knew that he had started warming up to me, and all I needed was just to wish really really hard that for once, nothing would go wrong in my life. 

 I came out of the kitchen holding two mugs, thinking we would talk about all that had happened. That i would clear all those misunderstanding he had about me, or at least tell him what I went through, maybe he would understand it himself. 

"Here is your coff..." I stopped just there, frozen, my words getting cut off mid-sentence as a feeling of cold numbness over took me.

He was standing there, his eyes fixed on the front door where I had pinned that stupid paper with instructions about how to avoid him. I had almost forgotten about that paper. Oh gosh, why had I left it pinned there? Was it too late now to rip it off the door and throw it away? Had he already read everything? Was there no going back?

Maybe I had screwed it up, all over again.

"Jungkook..."I nearly dropped the mugs.

"It looks like a real foolproof plan. Too bad it didn't work out" His eyes, and his voice were both ice cold as he turned towards me.

"It.. I ..."

"I was wrong about you, once again. You never changed. You're still the same person who'd rather run away after lying about her feelings than tell someone to their face that she has none"

"Jungkook...it's... not like that..."

"However," he turned towards the door again" You made a small mistake here" taking out a pen, he made a small arrow between i and fucked, and wrote "almost" above it. So it became  "How to avoid a guy I almost fucked with five years ago : Strategic plan"  With that he went out, shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.

I collapsed to the floor, the coffee spilling around me, and stayed there until the next morning. I just kept clutching at my chest, tears running down my cheeks, begging him to come back but he was too far away to listen. He was never going to listen to me. Nothing was ever going to be okay. Nothing. Not at least while I lived.

A/N:

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