Trigger Warning: A Phanfic

16

Phil
"Mr. Lester?" My doctor, Natalie Richard, stood at the foot of my bed with a chart in her hand. She waited for me to answer although I think she knew that I wasn't planning to.

"Mr. Lester," She said my name again. "You have guests."

I looked up at he this time but still chose to say nothing. She squeezed my leg and told me that she would send them in before leaving the room. When the door opened once again PJ was walking into the room, his arm clutched around a meek looking Dan's wrist. He practically seemed to be dragging him into the room.

Dan doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to see your weak ass.

It was then that I noticed Dan's legs shaking. His eyes were red, the skin around them swelled. It almost looked like there were claw marks from his forehead to his chin. Every time he breathed a small sniffle came from his nose. PJ sat him down in the chair next to my hospital bed, his whole body tensed at he began noticing how close he was to me.

What's wrong with him?

"How are you?" PJ asked me, not saying anything about Dan's current state.

"Is he okay?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Why didn't you talk to anyone? Why didn't you tell us how you were feeling?" PJ asked. It seemed like an endless conversation of unanswered questions between the two of us. I looked PJ in the eyes, then returned my gaze towards Dan.

"Phil," I heard him whisper under his breath. Even though it was simply just my name it seemed as though he was having so much trouble just to use his voice. His head was pointed towards the floor but his eyes faced my arms. I hid them under the blanket and tried returning my glances back at PJ, who was awkwardly standing in front of me with his arms crossed.

You broke Dan.

"Dan?" PJ put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. Dan looked up from his trance and made eye contact with him. They had a small exchange, I had no idea what was happening. In the next few seconds PJ exited the room and I was left in a deadly silence with Dan.

The next few minutes made my stomach hurt with a mix of anticipation and fear. Dan sat in his chair, his face somehow so full of emotion but still lacking any sign of life left in him. For a moment I thought he could just pass out as he still shook, his whole body convulsing. I tried not to stare at him but I couldn't help it. I had never seen him like this.

I didn't know if anything would happen until I felt a trembling hand grabbing at my arm and pulling it from underneath the blanket. I looked up to see Dan tightly grab hold of my hand. His hand was clammy and warm, but I didn't mind.

He tightly closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again I could see those dark brown eyes, the very ones that seemed to be so dry just awhile ago now glazed with tears. His breathing seemed to get louder and faster.

"Fuck," Dan muttered under his breath. He scratched his curly hair and let out a sigh.

"I fucking love you. I've been falling for you so goddamn much, since we met. Phil, I've dreamed of being with you since the day that we met at that train station in 2009. I knew you were the love of my life since we met in person. I love you so much that I want to throw up all the time when I'm around you. I love you so fucking much that I even dream about you when I'm asleep at night. But then you go and- and you do this. I-I thought I was going to fucking lose you." Dan wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Dan loves me?

"You love me?"

"Of course I do, you idiot."