memory loss

432 11 0

de zinniowl

de zinniowl

▪Y/ns pov▪

I woke up in my room and i see my mom smiling happily at me.
"Good morning honey! Time to wake up!" She says excitedly pulling the sheets off of me. (Shes the same mom you had the whole story. Nothing different) i felt different. I couldnt remember anything. Like everything in my head just vanished. Every last memory.
I felt so sad and i didnt know why and i thought about death ALOT! and i felt a hole was in my heart, and i had an urge to hurt myself and others. Even my own mom. I dont remember why but i hate her. I decided not to say anything and just role on with the day.
I went to school and it was like any other normal day. People stared at me like i was insane or like i killed somebody.
The sadness came back and i didnt understand. "Depression?" I whispered to myself. Then i remembered.

{Flash back}

(This might not be exact but just bare with me.)
I went to the back of the school where a group of people sell things for money. They find things and if someone wants it then they have to pay for it. I went to the back to see the gang leader had in his hands what i wanted.
I take money out of my pocket and handed it to him.
"Dont so this, it isn't worth it." "I have to. I cant find him and theres no reason for me to go on. Who knows i might find him in heaven." I tell him. He sighs and hands me the gun and i run to the middle of the woods and shoot myself.

□flash back over□

Tears pricked my eyes and they started falling. 'I remember! I had bad depression and wanted to die.' I looked at my wrists to see scars and deep cuts and i started to cry. 'Oh my god help me.' I ran out of the school and to a nearby cake store?
I went inside and i had another flash back.

¤Flash back¤

I waited and waited for him to come inside but didnt see him and the diner was about to close.
The diner just closed, he didnt show up, and melody kicked me out. I walked home in the rain sadly got back home.
The next morning i saw a figure and i was a blur? "Im sorry y/n i-" "YOU SERIOUSLY JUST LEFT ME ALONE! IN THAT DINER BY MYSELF! LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" I screamed but I realized what i had said and tried to apologize but he cut me off. he got angry. "FUCK YOU! WHY DONT YOU JUST GOT FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!"
Tears spilled from my eyes and i ran away.

¤flash back over¤

I held my heart. Who is he? Hes so familiar. I just decided to leave and just go home.
I then made it home and my mom smiled. "I want to take you somewhere. Follow me." She smiled and led me to the car and started to drive.
We got to what looked like a hospital and she smiled sadly at me.
"What is this?" i asked and she sadly looks at me. "Im sorry. They are going to help you. Forget." She mumbled the last part but i still didnt like what she said. "This is a mental hospital hon. Im sorry." She said and men came to the car and grabbed my wrists and i screamed and thrashed.
"Calm down sweetheart." A nice docter told me. I didnt like him on bit.
"Everything will be okay." He said. He injected me with a blue liquid and my mind went fuzzy.

A few week have passed and they kept telling me to take pills and inject me with things i dont know what they are. They tell me im getting better and ill stay here as long as i need too but my suicidal thoughts and depression never decreased. I wanted to die and was planning it soon. I didnt like the medications. I never had another flash back ever since i came here.
"Maybe they dont want me to have those flash backs or visions." I mumbled to myself and rocked myself back and forth.
I started to cry.
"I just want to go home."