I Go By Many Names (Lucifer {Ryo} x Reader)

19: Grief

"I don't feel like I could ever laugh again."  You mentioned solemnly. "I feel like every bit of happiness has been sucked out of me."

"Don't say that, Per—YN." He corrected himself quickly and leaned towards you. Gently, he wrapped one wing around you, as if it were a comforting arm.

Instinctively, you leaned against the ultra-soft surface, allowing it to support you.

"Why does this upset you so? You remain alive." He asked you quietly, curious of the answer.

"My family. They died without knowing what happened to me. I was probably gone for years, wasn't I? My own stupidity really." The plants that had long sprouted on your skin looked wilted. "I let myself be distracted by my own pleasure and in return I let them down."

"Ah, but really, what is wrong with choosing your own pleasure? I can understand having feelings for the people who raised you, but in the end, are you not the most important to yourself?" He offered up. "They no longer have the chance to make more memories and you do. You can choose to either dwell on a pain they no longer feel, or to continue your life happily, as perhaps they might want you to."

"I hear what you're saying, Lucifer and I see the logic behind it. But this isn't something that logic can solve. As much as I want to forget and move on, I can't. I cannot explain why I can't, but I just... can't."

"Well, so long as you see the logic, I suppose there is nothing more I can do for you, except to take you back home."

"Home?" You glared at him. "This was my home. The Underworld is not my home, regardless if I reside there." Thorns began popping out of your skin, causing Lucifer to retract his wing slightly.

"My apologies. To my home. That was quite insensitive of me and I do apologize. But I do not have much experience in emotions, please excuse me." He gave what looked like his best attempt at sadness, but in reality he was ecstatic. Humans were so fragile and he worried that your psyche could have broken. But instead, you showed what he felt was a reasonable response, if not less than he had thought. He knew humans did something very odd when they experienced grief... but he couldn't remember what exactly.

As you sat on the ground with your thorns out, you felt the wave of despair ride over you. Your shoulders began shaking and your chest began spasming— clenching and releasing with each breath. Your eyes burned as your nose began to run. Finally, the tears escaped and you couldn't help but sob.

Shocked, Lucifer almost fell over. That was what it was— humans leaked when sad! He felt a pang in his chest as he watched you, unsure of what to do.

"Don't... Don't do that..." He requested. "It makes me feel... bad."

"I-I-I can't h-help it!" You hiccuped as your tears continued to fall. "I c-can't help b-but cry! My family! They're all dead!"