Moon Bound (Forgotten Series, #5)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I was pulled from sleep as Bastian shifted on the bed behind me. Once I realized what it was that woke me up, I pretended to sleep as I waited for my usual morning wake up but the sound of the door opening and then closing had me sitting up in bed with blurry eyes. Disappointment surged through me. Bastian always woke me up by kissing me all over my face. I was usually always awake when he did so but I pretended because I liked it and I liked him doing it. It was sweet and cute and I loved him for it.

I looked around, Bastian had indeed left the room and I couldn't help the pout I had on my face as I laid back down, curling up underneath the comforter. I was not only disappointed but a little hurt at it. I wondered if Collin's dickish remarks had upset Bastian more than I had thought. I didn't want him to be upset at me for it though. I couldn't control the fact that the guys had been hitting on me and propositioning me. I had been forced to deal with them while he had his meeting with Azrael and the other Alpha.

I hadn't liked the thought of being separated from him in a place I didn't know. He had to understand that. Bastian was my only constant in this world and without him I felt like I was floundering, like a boat without an anchor. He was my steady, my calm. He was the one thing I could always rely on and I didn't want him thinking that I was off flouncing around with some guys because I wanted to be.

I felt a little surge of guilt at the thought. I hadn't really given him a reason to believe I wasn't like that. I hadn't exactly told him I loved him. I had wanted to wait for the right time but it never seemed to come and despite how ridiculous it was, I wanted it to be special. Our bond, our life together, didn't start out special. It was forced and horrible and it tore my life to shreds so I wanted just some part of our relationship to be special. Something that we could both look back at and smile because that was when it became official and where we knew that we would be okay.

I rolled up in the blanket, covering my face. I felt stupid and ridiculous for wanting that special moment but I also forced myself to give it a pass. I didn't get a beautiful proposal, I didn't get a stunning engagement ring, I didn't get to plan the perfect wedding, but I could have that one moment. The moment when I told Bastian that I loved him as much as he loved me. It was all I had, all I could do to revive my childhood dreams of happily ever after. There would be no big white dress or seven tiered cake and I had accepted that but I had that moment and I was holding onto it because it needed to be special for me, for us.

I closed my eyes tightly, hating that Bastian hadn't given me my normal wake up. Those acts were what made me fall in love with him. The small gestures, the simple ones that told me that no matter what his day had been like, that he had been thinking of me. The kisses in the morning were the biggest one because they told me that I was his first thought when he woke up in the morning. I didn't like when they were missing because it meant his mind was elsewhere rather than with me.

I pressed my face further into the pillow, trying to drown out the disappointment that was still surging through me. Perhaps Azrael had called him through the pack link and he didn't have time to give me my usual wake up. I settled on the thought and forced my brain to accept it as reality otherwise the hurt would just get worse underneath the disappointment. I didn't want to feel hurt over something so ridiculous but I also couldn't help it.

I was finding I couldn't help a lot of things when ti came to my life with Bastian. I couldn't help tickling him when I caught him napping on the couch. I couldn't help my hand drifting to his thigh, my energy sinking into the twisted muscles to try and help the ache he felt. I couldn't help the blush that heated my cheeks when I caught him staring at me, a soft look of adoration in his eyes. I certainly couldn't help how aroused I got when I watched him train. All those muscles rippling underneath tanned skin as he threw his opponents around.